June – coming to an end…

There’s nothing great to be spoken about this month except it has been the worst period of my entire life so far. A time when my mind was wandering all over, though things were right in front of me but I couldn’t grab them. I had so many questions rather still have them but no answers. Something which is not me and the last thing that I would want to do in life is to WAIT & WATCH – and I did that all this month and in all respect, whether it was work, my career or my personal life. Everything on a hold.

I don’t expect things neither from life nor from people because expecting things have always led me to disappointments and that’s what happened even this time. So I always want to move on making things work – whtever it is.

Finally Kay is back home after his long work trip to Moscow and has a long weekend to spend at home. It feels so nice to spill my head on him and he does the same (I don’t think that ne other frnd in my life would be able to take his place). In eight years of our friendship I don’t remember if we’ve spoken over the phone for so long as much as we did today… 3 hrs n 25 mins.. oo gosh !!

We spoke bout ourselves, our lives, our priorities, work, career n god knows wht not, we did bitch about a few people. I feel that we strike the same chord as far as our thoughts go on certain matters. Btwn all three of us, I’ve realized that me n Niki have had a parallel life as far as academic or professional front was concerned & for me and Kay its been our personal lives. I have started believing that Nikki is right to a certain extend to the fact that ‘moving on’ is not difficult to me n Kay but we just don’t let things go and love to hold on to them (yea but that’s the way we like, 2 poor souls).

Kay is badly stuck btwn his past and his future and I hv nothing interesting in the past to look back and really am not bothered what’s there for future. Kay’s questions are too complicated for me to give him any kind of answers because both the sides of his coin r equal in their own respect. As far as my questions go, I guess very soon I am going to have answers to them (most of them…) n thts for sure, so I am not much worried. And Niki – wht to say bout her, shez just hving the perfect life, done with her MS, having a good vacation here in India, get back to England, get onto a job, take a look at the guys her parents hv found, give them a try, pick one and get married. So by coming Feb we are definitely attending Niki’s wedding.

I really wonder for how long me n Kay r going to stay like lost souls. As far as I am concerned I guess I have 2 roads with different lanes on each of them. In like another couple of days I will come to know wht road life has chosen for me and then will walk ahead through them. Things don’t look that bad, n hoping that they won’t be. In another 25 hrs its will be a start of my b’day month - JULY and it has always been good for me all these years.

Hope all the WAIT & WATCH mode comes to an end soon and I get moving towards things I want them to be a part of my life.

Lastly Nik’s for wht you’ve been saying since past couple of days tht u can never catch water and harder u hold on to the sand in your palms its slips of… But Darling therz another side to it n even thts a fact – agreed u can never catch water but every attempt to hold it or catch it leaves your hand wet and it happens every time u try to do it. And secondly harder you hold onto the sand its definitely slips of but more n more sand particles stick to your hand, so every time u hold a handful of sand tightly u have lot of sand particles stuck to your palm, you collect those particles and in some time you will definitely have a handful of sand… its bout looking at the half glass full…in both the cases you are definitely gaining something… isn’t tht worth or sufficient reason for trying or giving it a shot…