An Achievement !!!!

Ahh ! it was an achievement. I managed to overcome my fear of being pricked by a syringe. In my 22 yrs not even once that I had to take injections or even get pricked by a needle. Something I was really scared of.

Mum and dad had given up on me, they knew that blood test is something I wud never go for. Doctor insisting to go for a blood check up since long, I avoided it for quite a few months. But this time I knew had to with the fever on.

I gathered up all the courage I had and went alone for the test. I went to our own lab and asked nurse to finish it off soon. I entered the room for testing, sitting with my eyes closed from the moment I sat on the seat. The nurse knowing me for 2 yrs now, she knew thts something I m really scared of. I just felt the prick and it was done in less than a minute.

The funniest thing is that even if I say I have overcome the fear, actually I havnt. I don’t even know how the syringe looked like and how she pricked and collected blood sample.
After the nurse said it was done, I just walked out without looking around.

But I’m glad atleast I went for the test no matter how it happened. Honestly I felt that I have won a war. It was a great feeling. When I went home with the blood report, every1 was shocked. Hehehe hahaha…

No one was bothered what the report said. Dad was so elated that I went for the test and that to all alone that he bought me choco chip ice cream tub which I wanted to eat for a few days but I cudnt coz of the fever….

Its definitely an achievement for me… hehe

Had lost my Head, just found it back..

After 3 days in bed with temperature I guess I’m left with no sleep in my eyes. I guess its been a year that I am up at 3.30 am gazing the sky and stars with some hot coffee and chocolate brownie (finally I made it). Just doing nothing, with my mind absolutely blank... wow it feels like heaven

I guess doing nothing at this hr just makes me realize that i got myself stuck with simply unwanted things and people around. Just took so called people’s practical thoughts and advices seriously and there I started losing myself.

Suddenly I became a sweet daughter to mom, best di in the world (I allowed kittu to wear my brand new tee’s n shoes which I just brought and that too without a fight), and apparently both of them cudnt take me that way. I remember kittu asking me, “ Di are u alright? Is everything fine with you?” Hehehe

I think I need to do something new. Life’s become monotonous. Same old thing, wake up, rush so that u don’t miss the train, go to the hospital n get ur work done, get back home, work on thesis, eat and hit the bed… its sucks

Finally done with thesis, now I will get some time to relax and just want to do nothing, absolutely nothing.i don’t feel like going back to job. My frame of glitter painting has been waiting like for 6 months now. My kitchen is also missing me, so I plan to make cakes n brownie’s n chocolates and baked pasta’s.

Ahh !!! how can I forget my boyfriends.. all have been complaining for long(how many nick’s I’ve earned – kalti queen, bhav khau and what not). Don’t u worry guys, we can now catch up for a few movies n long drives to lonavla, khandala n pune.

I think I’m just fine the way I am. Sweet to some, darling to some, cute some, stupid to some, idiot to some, intelligent to some, interesting to some, boring to some, trouble maker to some, silent prankster to some. I hope I hvnt missed ne1 in the list. It gives me no reason to complain. I guess u shud have few people who hate you. Being all good only helps the world, it does no good to you.

Hehehe.. now this is what I call… It’s Simply ME…

We The People…

We the People – my favorite talk show that comes on NDTV hosted by Barkha Dutt.

Today’s topic was Marriages & India.- Discussion on the right age to get married, Ideal partner and other social issues related.

Last segment – The right to choose the partner: Boy, girl or the families
With a few arguments between the older audiences and the younger ones, in between the crowd, a 24 yr old girl comes up really strong. She spoke for like 20 mins and no debate on what she said.

Wht she said –

• In this male dominated society all over the world. The men behaving like Bush when it comes to marriage. If a girl rejects a man she has no brains, but if a boy rejects a girl something’s wrong with the girl. (No statement’s from the audience)
  
• Every man wants his wife to be Aiswarya Rai hot and sexy – if a girl want some1 like John Abraham or Salman Khan – shez said you don’t go by the looks of a man.

Will a decent looking man though not very handsome marry an ugly fat girl – not a single guy agreed in an audience of 80 people. But a girl is married to a man of his father’s age and reason – that’s ohk. He has every thing.

What does a man see before getting married –
Looks (very very imp), then her nature, her job and how much she earns, how well she will take care of his family ( an unpaid 24 hr maid who can be at his service) and then may be for name sake, her family n stuff.

What does a girl see before getting married –
The nature of the guy and the way he treats her, they way his family wud accept her,his social culture, financial security, and then his looks.

The point to state the above is because – it’s the woman

• who leaves her home, her parents and her life for a new start.
• She is in new family with new people and new surroundings.
• She is loaded with more social responsibilities – shez now a wife, a bahu, a bhabhi, chachi, mami and wht not

To what extend a man’s life change after marriage other than a new member in the family, sharing the room & the bed, and a very little responsibility to keep her wife happy till she settles in the new surroundings. After that husbands don’t bother. Have u heard wives making fun of their husbands but husbands always do. “every man finds his neighbour’s wife better than his”.

He stills wakes up late on a Sunday, first his mom used to wake him and now his wife does. Wife has more work to do on a Sunday than a weekday. He still gets food and tea ready, right in his hands whenever he ask’s for. He still doesn’t miss his cricket and football matches and parties and lots more…

Comparing to the man, does a girl’s life remain the same after marriage. She now has a family of her own not forgetting the one from where she came. So why not leave the choice with the girl – whom she wants to spend her life with and which family she wants to be a part of. Not because she gives in so much but for the reason that what she has been giving in so far, she wud do it with joy and from her heart and not for the sake of fulfilling her responsibilities.

The girl stops talking and an audience with complete silence just applauded. When she asked if any one wud like to put a word to her there was no one who disagreed with her.

But the most surprising thing was with a majority of 72% of male audience not a single man thought what she said was wrong or unjust.

Now my point to write this whole ramanyan – Men know where they stand but they are the last one to stand by a woman. A mother, a sister, a girlfriend, a wife and a daughter. Man cant do without women but yet they fail to respect her.
I’m really lucky and feel blessed that all the men in my life have stood by me. Not for once I felt I was treated different form a guy. (Except.… I’m not allowed late night parties that often and I’m refused drinks by all my boyfriends). Hehehe hahaha.

Again Love...

I guess past couple of days this word LOVE has been all around me. Since a Aniket asked me how do I refer to Love so I’m putting it here..

To me it is Learning Oneself by Virtue of Everything about another. To me it is Unconditional and can only be felt. The heart has its reason’s, where reasons know nothing. It has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get but only with what you are going to give which is everything. Its when silence is read.

I think its wrong to think that love comes from long companionship & persevering courtship but it definitely strengthens it. Love is the offspring of an Affinity and that Affinity can make you fall in love with a complete stranger in a hearbeat.

So to me love is unconditional…. Every1 experiences it once in a lifetime but it’s on life; who get their love and who have to move on with someone else

LOVE...

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it.

They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. But we never stop loving tht stupid person.

"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.” - That's what LOVE is to me... it just happens... Therez no escape...

Stuck btwn the HEAD and the HEART...

There are times when both the HEAD and the HEART are right in their own way. Thts where the trouble is... to go by wht the Head says or the Heart??? Both seems to be for the better.
If i go with one, will be difficult to deny the other and its going to affect me either ways...

I have become really impatient. Will have to wait and watch with time and decide is to what i should go with. damn..I wish that either of one is able to win over the other, just making it easy for me to decide & at the earliest... Though things are not too bad but yet its bad... i know i 'm being stupid, but thts me..hehe

Sometimes it better not to have a choice !!!

Lunch Time

Farhana's wedding has created quite a stir at work... lunch time is now time to discuss weddings, marriages, men and women... n to fight over who are better; wives or the husbands.. hehehe..

i swear to god, men really get touched on being criticized as husbands.. and if i m going to write more on this issue Avi is going to kill me at work.. hehehe

neways i got to rush at work.. some updates later on !!!

Something I never expected...

Last morning me n Farhana were planning our visa schedule n accomodation in Toronto. All excited to go. Today morning - these words that I will never forget, "what are you doing on 12th jan... u have to keep urself free... therez a wedding at my place". I said "yea i will but whose wedding"

She said "MERI, i am getting married!!!”.... and not believeing it n thought shez just troubling me. I hung up on her. 15 mins later she called again and I spoke to her mom … I was left shocked, surprised and lost. Was tongue tied. I told her mom will call her in some time. Called up farhana and we spoke almost for an hr. A thing happened to her which was definitely not expected and definitely not at such short notice. and she was all excited. The happiness in her voice knew no bounds.

All set to make a new start. A girl who always behaved like a kid, who kept troubling me when the hell are we going to land Canada & suddenly she has grown old and mature. I couldn’t believe I was talking to same old Farhana. Twist in life just; in time as short as 12hrs. A brand new life to start in another ten days… & now I am all excited… I get a chance to shop n dress… hehehehe

I hope u continue to live with the same happiness and excitement all through your life.. Good Luck and God Bless.

(Even if u are getting married, we are going to land Toronto together ;-), the difference being u’ll have an eager husband waiting for u at the airport. Hehehe hahahaha)

It’s Another New Year

Wow!!! I bought in the New Year the way I wanted. It was something I wanted to do for so long. Some wine (and Bacardi... finally I tried it), nice music, great food and my long time old gold friends. Pool side at Marriot looked so beautiful; soft golden lights, snowy décor, sweet fragrance and soothing music… what an ambiance!!! Clock struck 12’ and dark wide spread sky filled with fire works, the weather was gr8 with chill breeze taking rounds, old time friends and some good conversations on. Everything was just perfect…

With all this I walked towards the beach watching the waves splashing the shore. Looking back at the year that just passed by: Year 2006 – quiet an eventful year!!!
A year that taught me lot of things, with new things I learned about myself which came to me as a pleasant surprise. With quite a bit of success and acknowledgement, both on personal & professional front. Few speculations that I created & the way I responded to certain things left people with their eyes split wide open (enjoyed every bit of those moments to see ppl being so bitchy abt me and even more some were jealous… given a chance would like to piss them even more… haha)

As with life, some hiccups – the big one was the sudden intension of certain people to get me hitched for they never wanted to let go of those GUYS (there was not one but a couple of them) but all their efforts in drain. The year came to an end with a strong note – my wish to get out of this place looked moving towards coming true by getting offer letters from Canada. And as the way it has been all my life, dad n dadu standing strong & still with me in all that I have done and want to do… something I feel like singing ‘ruk jana nahi tu kabhi haar ke, kanton pe chalke milenge saye bahar ke’…
I don’t know but I am never in for the concept of making or taking resolutions. But the thing that I want to stick to this year, if you call it a resolution… being on the true side want to leave behind the past and move ahead with a brand new start in life and career. Want to learn to say ‘NO’ and become little selfish… just want to worry about myself. What I wish to have this new year would be my visa to Canada and I definitely deserve a publication for my paper in medical journal and making my deep down hidden wish come true… hehehehahaha……… and to see whats in store this year. Cheers!!!