What happens to a man when
He spills his heart on a page... and
He watches words flow away then
His feelings lie on the page alone
There waiting
For someone who cares to read them
To open their eyes to see them
To see if they can make his thoughts their own
What happens to a soul when
It's trapped inside his emotions
And all of these words he's spoken
They bind him to the life he's left behind
And every new step he takes
He knows that he might not make it
To all of these dreams that he has yet to find
Maybe your life's not perfect
But maybe it's not worth what he gives away
You can see that this broken soul is bleeding
So you can see your feelings inside yourself
And wander through my heart
Letting you see through me
Now only consumes me
Forget your pain and watch me fall apart
You can see that this broken soul is bleeding
So you can see your feelings inside yourself
And wander through my heart
Yipee!!!! This is my first post of 2009.....
After series of events that happened since August 2008, I was feeling that I never be able to write again in my life... Unexpected, undesired things kept happening and got completely trapped in my life that i was badly looking for freedom, freedom of thoughts, words and time. I'm glad I managed to get out from the trap and back :D
Lots more to come.... every one shud keeping smiling
Jan 30, 2009
Aug 27, 2008
Winter's Roads
I read this and just put's my feelings at this moment in words.
by Ron Carnell
I cannot speak for all who stem
'Long roads less traveled as their way,
Nor question choices made by them
In days long past or nights long dim
by words they spoke and did not say.
Each road is long, though short it seems,
And credence gives each road a name
Of fantasies sun-drenched in beams
Or choices turned to darkened dreams,
To where each road wends just the same.
From North to South, then back again,
I followed birds like all the rest
Escaping nature's snowy den
On roads I've seen and places been,
Forsaking roads that traveled West.
This journey grows now to its end,
As road reflections lined in chrome
Give way to roads with greater bend
And empty signs that still pretend
They point the way to home sweet home.
But all roads lead to where we go
And where we go is where we've been,
So home is just a word we know,
That space in time most apropos
For where we want to be again.
For even home, it seems to me,
Is still a choice we all must face
From day to day and endlessly,
To choose if home is going to be
Another road - or just a place
by Ron Carnell
I cannot speak for all who stem
'Long roads less traveled as their way,
Nor question choices made by them
In days long past or nights long dim
by words they spoke and did not say.
Each road is long, though short it seems,
And credence gives each road a name
Of fantasies sun-drenched in beams
Or choices turned to darkened dreams,
To where each road wends just the same.
From North to South, then back again,
I followed birds like all the rest
Escaping nature's snowy den
On roads I've seen and places been,
Forsaking roads that traveled West.
This journey grows now to its end,
As road reflections lined in chrome
Give way to roads with greater bend
And empty signs that still pretend
They point the way to home sweet home.
But all roads lead to where we go
And where we go is where we've been,
So home is just a word we know,
That space in time most apropos
For where we want to be again.
For even home, it seems to me,
Is still a choice we all must face
From day to day and endlessly,
To choose if home is going to be
Another road - or just a place
May 21, 2008
Now I hv no title for this one!!
A lonely seagull flies the winds
Majestic... soaring...gliding wings
A single screech sounds from the sky
Come fly with me... come here and fly
My spirit floats to be a part
I feel the beating of its heart
My soul, one with this bird of sea
Now knows the meaning to fly free
I feel the winds caress my soul
And soar the streams without a goal
My being trembles of delight
A treasure I received tonight
The seagull's flight of soaring high
The gift of what it means to fly
Majestic... soaring...gliding wings
A single screech sounds from the sky
Come fly with me... come here and fly
My spirit floats to be a part
I feel the beating of its heart
My soul, one with this bird of sea
Now knows the meaning to fly free
I feel the winds caress my soul
And soar the streams without a goal
My being trembles of delight
A treasure I received tonight
The seagull's flight of soaring high
The gift of what it means to fly
Interesting
The Wise Man and The Fool
by John McLeod
Said the wise man to the fool one day:
"I've got a hundred candles,
And lots of copper candlesticks with ornamental handles,
They cost me every cent I had
But I shall be all right,
And in the darkness of the eve I'll have a splendid light."
The fool said: "Yes, you may be wise,
But then again, p'raps not,
Only pence had I to buy, one candle's all I got,
But then, I bought some matches too
And you, the silly goose,
Bought none, and so without a light
Your candles are no use!"
The moral of the story is simplicity's defence,
For even the buffooning clown
May have some common sense!
The wise man and the village fool,
But tell me which is which?
The one with only coppers?
Or the other very rich?
After reading this, did you not start thinking on the question asked.... quite an intellectual question!!!
by John McLeod
Said the wise man to the fool one day:
"I've got a hundred candles,
And lots of copper candlesticks with ornamental handles,
They cost me every cent I had
But I shall be all right,
And in the darkness of the eve I'll have a splendid light."
The fool said: "Yes, you may be wise,
But then again, p'raps not,
Only pence had I to buy, one candle's all I got,
But then, I bought some matches too
And you, the silly goose,
Bought none, and so without a light
Your candles are no use!"
The moral of the story is simplicity's defence,
For even the buffooning clown
May have some common sense!
The wise man and the village fool,
But tell me which is which?
The one with only coppers?
Or the other very rich?
After reading this, did you not start thinking on the question asked.... quite an intellectual question!!!
May 12, 2008
Finally back to work!!!!
Its been months tht i hv been eating people's head that i cudnt study nemore and really wanted to hit the working life as soon as possible. But the way things were, I had already given up of getting any genuine sensible job and I had made up my mind to go back to mumbai for good!!
But finally last day of sem, last exam and i get a call from Ontario Ministry of Environment - Mr. Manager Frank Tomassini - "are you still available for work this summer". And I went like - More than available. Tht was the day and today is the day that I finally made it to work after not so good but neither that bad 9 months... It was actually a period worth delivering a baby for sure.
So how was the day - Fantastic, Fantabulous, Perfect.
As usual, like every time I hv to get back to work after school term, on the first day itself i can never wake up on time inspite of all precautions taken. So was today, sitting in my bed half asleep instead to getting ready to go as I was already getting late, I'm replying to emails. But cuz I'm so used to rushing I finally make up everything on time.
After 11 months I actually dressed up all in formals, man i cudnt stop adoring myself in the mirror, an absolute professional look. The last time I was so elegantly formally dressed was 15th july 2007 for my Final and the last Board meeting at Winmark (My workplace in Bbay - though i still miss my desk and all my belongings at office). I am out of the house at 7 am and every one on the station all dressed up formals rushing to work, finally i see a busy life in Toronto and so many people rushing at the same time. It reminded me of my Bbay days at work and this view was way more polished. I was enjoying it all. Finally I reach work on time and got started.
I was a bit skeptical wht kinda work would I be given since it was a lab dept. But like I say god always listen to wht my heart wants and I really got much more thn i was expecting. I am finally placed in the reporting team for the annual lab Audit of the ministry labs. Man the work i love the most - Managing and puttingvthins in place and in order and deal with regulations, laws and compliance. Wow I still dont believe I'm gonna get to do it all. The best work timing i cud ever ask for. The only disappoint I had was that i am really goin to be paid really low compared to others. But today looking at the kind of work I am goin to do for the remaining 4 months and the opportunities I am goin to come across at the ministry just covered up for it. Reviewing protocols and SOP's, Audit papers and annual records, stats data, factual data, the list is never ending. I finally sign a confidentiality contract and took an oath - it was just the perfect icing with a a cherry on the cake. As of this day I couldnt hv asked for more.
I guess most of the things are in place, atleast for some time. And I hv always believed tht a good start is the best thing u can have and prolly - I hv it.
Now what ahead,, just keeping my fingers crossed as a few permanent internal openings are goin to come in 2 months time and if I manage to get that, there wud not be more i cud ask for, for atleast 1 -2 yrs.
Studies and education are in place, work life is in place, my home is kinda settled; need not worry for some time - the only thing left my PERSONAL LIFE - which every1 in the world my friends and family thinks that I need to fix and give all my attention and importance, so working on it as well - hoping this time I give it fair chance, time and attention - Probably i know its goin to be the most difficult thing for me compared to the totally different things tht has got importance and attention from my side - But lets give it a shot - For a change everything is falling in right and perfect place - hope even this gets charmed by the good things and vibes around. Inshallah!!!!
But finally last day of sem, last exam and i get a call from Ontario Ministry of Environment - Mr. Manager Frank Tomassini - "are you still available for work this summer". And I went like - More than available. Tht was the day and today is the day that I finally made it to work after not so good but neither that bad 9 months... It was actually a period worth delivering a baby for sure.
So how was the day - Fantastic, Fantabulous, Perfect.
As usual, like every time I hv to get back to work after school term, on the first day itself i can never wake up on time inspite of all precautions taken. So was today, sitting in my bed half asleep instead to getting ready to go as I was already getting late, I'm replying to emails. But cuz I'm so used to rushing I finally make up everything on time.
After 11 months I actually dressed up all in formals, man i cudnt stop adoring myself in the mirror, an absolute professional look. The last time I was so elegantly formally dressed was 15th july 2007 for my Final and the last Board meeting at Winmark (My workplace in Bbay - though i still miss my desk and all my belongings at office). I am out of the house at 7 am and every one on the station all dressed up formals rushing to work, finally i see a busy life in Toronto and so many people rushing at the same time. It reminded me of my Bbay days at work and this view was way more polished. I was enjoying it all. Finally I reach work on time and got started.
I was a bit skeptical wht kinda work would I be given since it was a lab dept. But like I say god always listen to wht my heart wants and I really got much more thn i was expecting. I am finally placed in the reporting team for the annual lab Audit of the ministry labs. Man the work i love the most - Managing and puttingvthins in place and in order and deal with regulations, laws and compliance. Wow I still dont believe I'm gonna get to do it all. The best work timing i cud ever ask for. The only disappoint I had was that i am really goin to be paid really low compared to others. But today looking at the kind of work I am goin to do for the remaining 4 months and the opportunities I am goin to come across at the ministry just covered up for it. Reviewing protocols and SOP's, Audit papers and annual records, stats data, factual data, the list is never ending. I finally sign a confidentiality contract and took an oath - it was just the perfect icing with a a cherry on the cake. As of this day I couldnt hv asked for more.
I guess most of the things are in place, atleast for some time. And I hv always believed tht a good start is the best thing u can have and prolly - I hv it.
Now what ahead,, just keeping my fingers crossed as a few permanent internal openings are goin to come in 2 months time and if I manage to get that, there wud not be more i cud ask for, for atleast 1 -2 yrs.
Studies and education are in place, work life is in place, my home is kinda settled; need not worry for some time - the only thing left my PERSONAL LIFE - which every1 in the world my friends and family thinks that I need to fix and give all my attention and importance, so working on it as well - hoping this time I give it fair chance, time and attention - Probably i know its goin to be the most difficult thing for me compared to the totally different things tht has got importance and attention from my side - But lets give it a shot - For a change everything is falling in right and perfect place - hope even this gets charmed by the good things and vibes around. Inshallah!!!!
Apr 18, 2008
A quote worth reading!!!
All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.
~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"
~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"
Apr 4, 2008
On the question of race
This is so very surprising that what does one has to do with one's ethnicity or race when it comes to Job Applications. I had to answer these questions everywhere I applied for jobs. Strange, Who say's only UK is racist, US of A and Canada stand equally!!!!
They ask me to write down
My race and I think
And think very seriously
And consider writing down the
Truth and have my answer read
I have respect in me
I have love in me
I share my respect and love with everyone
Especially to my close ones
There is love and respect
Inside my body
I am a part of a beautiful culture
I am a part of a caring culture
My culture is very lovely
Much different from here
There we die for each other
Here we are on our own
Caring nature from my background
Inside my body
I have a wonderful family
I have wonderful friends
Without them, I am nothing
Without them, I am no one
I am loner in the heart
Without their love
Without them, I have a lost soul
Inside my body
I have a dream, which I can fulfill
I have a will, which I can fulfill
Which I could have fulfilled in India
But in Canada, thought a land of opportunities
I can see myself somewhere
But its not like India
I miss my mother’s food
I miss my friends
But I made new friends here
My lost soul, feeling full
Inside my body
I have experienced education in India
I have started experienced education here
It is different in India
There teachers asked for homework
They cared about us
Here, we are on our own
It is our choice to come class
I feel useless here
Inside my body
They ask me to write down
My race and I think
And think very seriously
And consider writing down the
Truth and have my answer read
I have a need
I have a want
I look for love in these people
Did I get what I Want???
Indeed only in a few people
I feel happy
Inside my body
I have a desire
I have a will
To become part of this country
Yet, have my values be part of me
I hope this will be possible
For many say they change
Even if I become Canadian like the others
My soul will remain Indian
My heart will remain Indian
My blood will remain Indian
And I will die Indian
Inside my body
They ask me to write down
My race and I think
And think very seriously
And consider writing down the
Truth and have my answer read
I have respect in me
I have love in me
I share my respect and love with everyone
Especially to my close ones
There is love and respect
Inside my body
I am a part of a beautiful culture
I am a part of a caring culture
My culture is very lovely
Much different from here
There we die for each other
Here we are on our own
Caring nature from my background
Inside my body
I have a wonderful family
I have wonderful friends
Without them, I am nothing
Without them, I am no one
I am loner in the heart
Without their love
Without them, I have a lost soul
Inside my body
I have a dream, which I can fulfill
I have a will, which I can fulfill
Which I could have fulfilled in India
But in Canada, thought a land of opportunities
I can see myself somewhere
But its not like India
I miss my mother’s food
I miss my friends
But I made new friends here
My lost soul, feeling full
Inside my body
I have experienced education in India
I have started experienced education here
It is different in India
There teachers asked for homework
They cared about us
Here, we are on our own
It is our choice to come class
I feel useless here
Inside my body
They ask me to write down
My race and I think
And think very seriously
And consider writing down the
Truth and have my answer read
I have a need
I have a want
I look for love in these people
Did I get what I Want???
Indeed only in a few people
I feel happy
Inside my body
I have a desire
I have a will
To become part of this country
Yet, have my values be part of me
I hope this will be possible
For many say they change
Even if I become Canadian like the others
My soul will remain Indian
My heart will remain Indian
My blood will remain Indian
And I will die Indian
Inside my body
I’m just a Woman…
A woman needs to be assured
In each and every way,
She needs the warmth of loving words
That only you can say.
She needs a lot of understanding …
When she’s feeling somewhat down.
She needs for you to make her smile,
And take away her frown.
A woman’s heart is fragile
Her feelings are that way too,
Times she feels so sad inside,
Not knowing what to do.
It’s hard to be a woman,
Misunderstood in many ways,
Sometimes all it takes to help,
Is a loving word, to make her day.
She needs to know that she’s the one,
That fills your heart with desire,
She needs to be told often,
That she sets your soul on fire.
She needs that soft and tender touch
As if she were a fragile rose,
And feel that she’s so special.
From all others, you could have chose.
She needs to hear, “I Love you”,
Whether close or miles apart,
She needs to know… she’s the one,
That’s the center of your heart.
So, please listen when I need to talk,
Please kiss away my tears,
Let me share my worries with you,
And help me face my fears.
In each and every way,
She needs the warmth of loving words
That only you can say.
She needs a lot of understanding …
When she’s feeling somewhat down.
She needs for you to make her smile,
And take away her frown.
A woman’s heart is fragile
Her feelings are that way too,
Times she feels so sad inside,
Not knowing what to do.
It’s hard to be a woman,
Misunderstood in many ways,
Sometimes all it takes to help,
Is a loving word, to make her day.
She needs to know that she’s the one,
That fills your heart with desire,
She needs to be told often,
That she sets your soul on fire.
She needs that soft and tender touch
As if she were a fragile rose,
And feel that she’s so special.
From all others, you could have chose.
She needs to hear, “I Love you”,
Whether close or miles apart,
She needs to know… she’s the one,
That’s the center of your heart.
So, please listen when I need to talk,
Please kiss away my tears,
Let me share my worries with you,
And help me face my fears.
Mar 28, 2008
I’ll dream…I’ll do!!
A free bird is what
I’ve always longed to be
Breaking away from the confines
Of an uncertain mind
Wanting to reach out
To the world surrounding me
Sky being my limit
I hope to reach great heights
Striving harder with each new day.
Taking criticism in my stride
I am now ready to create days
From the dark and dreary nights…
My dreams are real
Quite different from the rest
I seek to usher in a new tomorrow.
Standing out from the crowd
I aim to become better
Of course better, than the very best!!
I just scribbling this last night, after I read a reply to my job application which said "Your academic qualifications are higher than required for this position".
Just want to pen down the words of a song which is quite inspiring and all those people who are away from home and are finding it so hard to hang in, this is for all you guys!!!
Yeh zamin hain reh guzar ter mere vaste
Har ghadi hain ek safar tere mere vaste
Nayi mazilo ko chale naye raaste
(It means that this land is for us to live by as ever moment in life is a part of our journey, and in this journey every new goal to make is going to create many roads to walk on)
Is gagan ke tale, hum jo ghar se chale, Sirf ye khawab hi saath hain
Agle hi mod par, hone ko hain sehar, Zara der toh raat hain
Khushiyon se honi abhi mulakat hain
(Under the shelter of sky when we decided to leave our home, we walked out with our dreams, its been long that you have been walking in darkness but you need not give up now because the night is bout to come to and an end and in no time therz goin to be beautiful sunrise which will overtake the darkness, You have to hang on as you've got to meet the happiness)
Gum ki deewar se, dukh ki zanjir se, Ruk saki hain kaha zindagi
Ek naya hausla, leke dil ye chala, Arzoo dil mein hain phir nayi
In ankho mein phir hain saje khab kayi
(Inspite of hundreds of troubles and disappointment which stop you from moving ahead,they were nto able to stop life from moving ahead. Every trouble/disappointment have given a new hope and courage to move on and again there are new dreams that are built in our eyes)
I’ve always longed to be
Breaking away from the confines
Of an uncertain mind
Wanting to reach out
To the world surrounding me
Sky being my limit
I hope to reach great heights
Striving harder with each new day.
Taking criticism in my stride
I am now ready to create days
From the dark and dreary nights…
My dreams are real
Quite different from the rest
I seek to usher in a new tomorrow.
Standing out from the crowd
I aim to become better
Of course better, than the very best!!
I just scribbling this last night, after I read a reply to my job application which said "Your academic qualifications are higher than required for this position".
Just want to pen down the words of a song which is quite inspiring and all those people who are away from home and are finding it so hard to hang in, this is for all you guys!!!
Yeh zamin hain reh guzar ter mere vaste
Har ghadi hain ek safar tere mere vaste
Nayi mazilo ko chale naye raaste
(It means that this land is for us to live by as ever moment in life is a part of our journey, and in this journey every new goal to make is going to create many roads to walk on)
Is gagan ke tale, hum jo ghar se chale, Sirf ye khawab hi saath hain
Agle hi mod par, hone ko hain sehar, Zara der toh raat hain
Khushiyon se honi abhi mulakat hain
(Under the shelter of sky when we decided to leave our home, we walked out with our dreams, its been long that you have been walking in darkness but you need not give up now because the night is bout to come to and an end and in no time therz goin to be beautiful sunrise which will overtake the darkness, You have to hang on as you've got to meet the happiness)
Gum ki deewar se, dukh ki zanjir se, Ruk saki hain kaha zindagi
Ek naya hausla, leke dil ye chala, Arzoo dil mein hain phir nayi
In ankho mein phir hain saje khab kayi
(Inspite of hundreds of troubles and disappointment which stop you from moving ahead,they were nto able to stop life from moving ahead. Every trouble/disappointment have given a new hope and courage to move on and again there are new dreams that are built in our eyes)
Mar 22, 2008
The Best colors of my life!!!
I know I have always been the crazier one amongst you’ll, but as always I get those Pagalpan & Stupidity attacks today is one of those days. I don’t know why am I doing this but cuz today being Happy Holi and wanted to feel very happy as it is my fav festival for its full of colors, and I love the quote which says “I’m a part of all that I have met” I just wanted count all the colors of love & friendship I have had in life…. Y do I need to do it today???? - Because this day is meant to be spent with colors.
So the colorful list follows, find your name its alphabetical – (I Know I’m quite smart)
Aasutosh – the first time I spoke to this man, showed his irritation because his name was spelt wrong – which he think when pronounced as its spelled sounds like whtever. One of the sweetest friends I have had since past 3 yrs now. I know its very funny and strange how we came across and am really happy tht we did continue as friends and since then hez always been there to hear me out. One person, I don’t know how he figures out only just reading one line I write while I am chatting to him that I am tensed, confused, sad or depressed that he leaves all his work and sits and talks it out with me. Never lets me lose the faith in me n yesterday for the first time he lost on me cuz he cud not hear me sound so negative. One of the men who can make roti’s absolutely round, a shayar at heart and with words, man I miss talking to you these days with all the shayari’s … love ya
Akhil – you are this one weirdo I met at bholas 8 years ago who wanted to copy an answer from me and I showed it to him and look at his guts that after the exam was over he comes upto me and tells me that next week test i have to read electricity chapter and show him the answers cuz he was not goin to study. Since then thru the year he used to tell me what should I study and go for the test so that he can copy from me and since then we hv been friends. One fellow who gets so annoyed while I used to wait on the streets to eat panipuri and all other chat and used to call me LS… hehe. Whenever we've planned clubbing he used to promise that he’ll get me drunk and when we finally reach he used to buy me cola and keep my mouth shut – how boring – Indian man. He has entertained all my tantrums without getting annoyed and I loved you the most when I told to quit smoking cuz I dint like it and you did that at that moment. Dude I hv very few ppl who take all my tantrums and no one here in Toronto. Man plan a trip soon.
Centennial Folks –
Karan & Saad – these 2 are just Jay & Veeru from Sholay, absolute partners in crime, the first set of friends at centennial and after moving to Scarborough. They were the life line and saved me from getting lost with those mad, sad, annoying, gavti roomies I had got. We’ve spent some best time when it comes to goin out, hanging around and at times when I used to miss home. Karan you have been really sweet and your mum and dad have been so good that whenever i came up to your place i they made me feel at home. You guys will always remain close to my heart even if I leave Scarborough. By the way again this time Republik dint happen…. Not fair……
Bernard – The very first friend I made in my class, he loves Indian food and movies. He will always call up in the middle of the night to tell me which movie he watched and would discuss it. He almost understands everything we talk in hindi, n he replies in English. Man u notice every small thing I wear, shoes, coats, kajal, glosses – I guess now u hv a count of all things I own!!!! Always keeps complimenting me n keeps telling me i m looking good. The only person in this country called Canada I get a hug from everytime hez across…. Ur a total sweetheart
Jeff – Hez is a freaking flirt, never misses a single occasion to crack some kinda statement so much tht I m blushing almost all the time when he is around. Oh man he gets so mad at me when I say tht he shud hv better choices rather thn flirting with me – I love it when he says ‘u don’t know ur potential’. Hez on a mission to turn me from cute and sweet to hot n sexy gal – This mad man drags me to the gym, he snatches food from my hands while we are out, makes me work out so hard – I hate him for tht. But I love it when he shouts “get ur fat ass out of the couch” hehehe – hez so cute…. Everytime hez seriously saying something I start smiling n he loses on me but poor fellow cant help it…. Hez given up on me. Thank u sweetie – honestly i hv never loved to go to a gym, but cuz of u now it’s a habit. These days all the compliments I get for looking good, all credit goes to u, never felt so good about myself!!!! Muaahhhh
St. Josephites – My school
Wht do I say about these 3 guys – Anish, Jayraj and Rushabh – when all my closest friends left me n went to the US, I had these people around all the time. Never knew our school reunion would built a friendship so strong with people I used to hardly talk to in the school. I had never spoken to Anish in the school, it was an acquaintance with Jayraj and I remember Rushabh n Abbas used to tease me cuz I loved Salman Khan n everytime a crow used to come on a window they used to point it as Salman Khan.
We came together so that our reunion program could work out. Thanks to us and to the idea of reuion I did make friends with people whom once I knew – a lot more thn I used to talk while I was in school. We have discussed life, education, career, finances, real estate investments, stocks market and what not.almost a year and half it was every Friday I used to call up Jayraj – yeh week ka program kya hain. How much they used to tease me. Anish always says – tujhe ladki mein kaun ginta hain – hehe
They hv bared me n my non stop cribbing and non sense and a few personal issues all the time while I was in the process of coming to Toronto. They were so harrowed that that if it was in their hands they would have parceled me at that time. Diwali, navratri, weekends and last year’s holi – man I so wanted to have bhang n these guys some how managed to get me though only it was like one glass.
Poor Jayraj – as if hez working in Infosys just for us so that we can hv conference calls. Man I’m still trying to figure out out logic behind conference calls just to make weekend programs as if we were dealing with million dollar business….. man miss that time, but u guys hv to stay in touch n keep meeting even if I m not there. If I was the reason, I shud still be the reason for u guys to spend time together. Miss u all a lot
Karan Oberoi – thts wht the people know you as but for me ur the wacko Kay. What do I write about you, you’ve been the man, philosopher, guide, advisor, counselor and the elder bro. Who says relationships that last forever are of those with blood ties. Whether it be good or bad, u’ve stood by me, and with you I have got another set of parents and a sister who care as much as my own. Though always tried being the elder one which you are, I never let u win. The man who taught me to live life even in the most miserable conditions, taught me to be myself and made me believe in myself and my dreams. If I am a social butterfly or a people’s person is all because of u. If it not had been for u, I would still be that same stupid gal, ugly, introvert, reserved gal. Though not having blood ties, u’ve been my elder bro – conservative, protective and my bestest friend. A person who is always so critical on me, I know I used to feel so bad when u used to be rude but all that rudeness n nastyness has sculpted good things in me that are goin to stay wid me all my life. I need not hv said all this here cuz I know u hate it and u gonna blast me for it – BUT remember u were the one who made me start my Blog....
Raj – I met you when I was hunting a house to move from Mississauga and then we crashed again in the French class. If it not had been for you, Rohan and Vivek I would hv died in those French classes. Had and have a good time with you guys. You are always there if I need an advice be it my study permit, PR application, work permit, income tax whtever which is important to be known and the right time. You’ve been really helpful to a stranger like me. And plz plz plz gift me your dog (Your Max – bahut pyar se rakhungi….will never ask nething) ;) thanks for being there.
Rikin – Its not the ideal way people begin friendships the way it was ours but its been 2 yrs now and sometimes I think as if I’ve known you for years. I remember, forget even being friends we had like a brief acquaintance and I harrowed you with so many questions all the time while I was applyin to Canada. I still remember it was a Sunday nite for me and morning for you and I made you proof read my recommendation letters and though you were not ought to do that how sweet of you that you did it. That’s not the reason you find a place in this list but you were the very first person I met after coming to Toronto – My FIRST Friend, in Canada. The day I met you I was really low and upset cuz I had been sitting at home and did not go out for like 20 days and was really feeling homesick. That’s a diff thing the day I met you u made miss Bombay a lot that I actually went home and cried but those couple of hrs with you made me feel so comfortable and at home and till today its been the best time, your statements always brings me peace. I know you call me crazy all the time and after readin this I’m sure u’ll say I’m absolutely mad but its ohk… now I’m used to listening it… hehe. I know I do bore you a lot wid my stupidity but you will always be a special friend. It’s a total diff thing tht everytime you are coming down, u tell me; but forget meeting, u don’t even hv the time to call me…. And by the way I still need to meet Bugsy… loved to hv u as a friends, tons of thanks…..
And now the reason I am here in this beautiful world.
My Parents – I know most of my friends and many other people are in an awe when it comes to my mum and dad. Unlike other girls who were around me, I was never told to do certain things or not to do certain things cause I was girl. Wonder if many girls have so much freedom when it comes to taking decisions.
Daddy dearest - I hv been my Poppy’s support system, he has this blind faith in me n don’t know why he belives that I know it all, which acres me all the time. Its been the most difficult thing in his life to let me come here but he just accepted everything without a single word. No questions and no discussions of why, where, what for. I can just say one thing - You are the BEST. Though u tend to be too boring at times but just love the way you are.
Mommy bestest – I guess I hv the weirdest mum in the world. She hates to love me n the same is with me, though we are mother and daughter we are like those bad, wicked, naughty gals. We can talk n gossip bout nething. I guess I hv the only mother who thinks tht I am useless creature cuz I’ve managed to stay single for so long. She so wanted me to hv a BF so that she could team up with him to trouble and irritate me – she calls me a waste and I love it when u say that mom!!! while at my age when all mothers want their daughters to get married and settle down, she gave me all the liberty to do things the way i wanted be it for my personal life, my career - A very practical, understanding n damn Chalu mom...Hehe haha… Shez been my bestest friend may be that’s the reason I never needed a girl friend as u can see only guys are there in my list. Mom by giving me the freedom and independence you have let me learn from nature's best teacher called - LIFE.
My chotu, my sis – Sushmita – man everytime I talk to her I only feel that I wish I was like her when I was of her age. Shez 6 yrs younger to me but shez been my biggest support system. Man she knows it all, n she knows me inside out – just like still water runs deep. Nobody understands me as much she does, though she doesn’t behave older thn me but I feel she can read my heart. She is very strong, very firm, very very smart and intelligent. Can give u a run for your money. Love u chotu
My grandfather, my dadu – I hv been his eldest granddaughter and he has made me the ideal grand-daughter. Hez so proud of me and loves me so much, prolly not many wud hv such great dadu. Its been 8 months here n if the world may forget but ther isn’t been a single Sunday since the day I hv landed in this country that he has forgotten to call me. I know I mean the world to him and I would never let u down.
My grandmother, my dadi – I wish she was here to see me come so far. She was so so so proud of me and she has been my ideal, a very strong, and independent, self created woman. I was the apple of her eyes, dare if anyone could ever point a finger at me or discourage me in front of her, that person would be trashed, she would not even spare my mum and dad. When people see me they find her replica in me and nothing makes me feel so proud than this. I hope dadi I hv stayed upto your expectations. Your r the biggest thing I miss in life today, if there was some way that I could have you back in my life, I would hv done nething for it.
Mum & Dad & Dadu – u guys hv stood by me so strong in past 2 yrs when more half world was not with me and supported me with all I wanted and the way I wanted.
And last but not the least – My GOD – I’m always troubling & fighting with him and make him give me all the things I want, but because he is GOD he troubles me a lot in return before giving me everything I wanted. God – you try my patience a lot. Though I cant complain because he gave me all I wanted and will hv to give all I need. I thank you for giving a life filled with so many nice beautiful and positive colors. I can only wish and pray that everyone has a colorful life just like me!!!
HAPPY HOLI to everyone!!!
So the colorful list follows, find your name its alphabetical – (I Know I’m quite smart)
Aasutosh – the first time I spoke to this man, showed his irritation because his name was spelt wrong – which he think when pronounced as its spelled sounds like whtever. One of the sweetest friends I have had since past 3 yrs now. I know its very funny and strange how we came across and am really happy tht we did continue as friends and since then hez always been there to hear me out. One person, I don’t know how he figures out only just reading one line I write while I am chatting to him that I am tensed, confused, sad or depressed that he leaves all his work and sits and talks it out with me. Never lets me lose the faith in me n yesterday for the first time he lost on me cuz he cud not hear me sound so negative. One of the men who can make roti’s absolutely round, a shayar at heart and with words, man I miss talking to you these days with all the shayari’s … love ya
Akhil – you are this one weirdo I met at bholas 8 years ago who wanted to copy an answer from me and I showed it to him and look at his guts that after the exam was over he comes upto me and tells me that next week test i have to read electricity chapter and show him the answers cuz he was not goin to study. Since then thru the year he used to tell me what should I study and go for the test so that he can copy from me and since then we hv been friends. One fellow who gets so annoyed while I used to wait on the streets to eat panipuri and all other chat and used to call me LS… hehe. Whenever we've planned clubbing he used to promise that he’ll get me drunk and when we finally reach he used to buy me cola and keep my mouth shut – how boring – Indian man. He has entertained all my tantrums without getting annoyed and I loved you the most when I told to quit smoking cuz I dint like it and you did that at that moment. Dude I hv very few ppl who take all my tantrums and no one here in Toronto. Man plan a trip soon.
Centennial Folks –
Karan & Saad – these 2 are just Jay & Veeru from Sholay, absolute partners in crime, the first set of friends at centennial and after moving to Scarborough. They were the life line and saved me from getting lost with those mad, sad, annoying, gavti roomies I had got. We’ve spent some best time when it comes to goin out, hanging around and at times when I used to miss home. Karan you have been really sweet and your mum and dad have been so good that whenever i came up to your place i they made me feel at home. You guys will always remain close to my heart even if I leave Scarborough. By the way again this time Republik dint happen…. Not fair……
Bernard – The very first friend I made in my class, he loves Indian food and movies. He will always call up in the middle of the night to tell me which movie he watched and would discuss it. He almost understands everything we talk in hindi, n he replies in English. Man u notice every small thing I wear, shoes, coats, kajal, glosses – I guess now u hv a count of all things I own!!!! Always keeps complimenting me n keeps telling me i m looking good. The only person in this country called Canada I get a hug from everytime hez across…. Ur a total sweetheart
Jeff – Hez is a freaking flirt, never misses a single occasion to crack some kinda statement so much tht I m blushing almost all the time when he is around. Oh man he gets so mad at me when I say tht he shud hv better choices rather thn flirting with me – I love it when he says ‘u don’t know ur potential’. Hez on a mission to turn me from cute and sweet to hot n sexy gal – This mad man drags me to the gym, he snatches food from my hands while we are out, makes me work out so hard – I hate him for tht. But I love it when he shouts “get ur fat ass out of the couch” hehehe – hez so cute…. Everytime hez seriously saying something I start smiling n he loses on me but poor fellow cant help it…. Hez given up on me. Thank u sweetie – honestly i hv never loved to go to a gym, but cuz of u now it’s a habit. These days all the compliments I get for looking good, all credit goes to u, never felt so good about myself!!!! Muaahhhh
St. Josephites – My school
Wht do I say about these 3 guys – Anish, Jayraj and Rushabh – when all my closest friends left me n went to the US, I had these people around all the time. Never knew our school reunion would built a friendship so strong with people I used to hardly talk to in the school. I had never spoken to Anish in the school, it was an acquaintance with Jayraj and I remember Rushabh n Abbas used to tease me cuz I loved Salman Khan n everytime a crow used to come on a window they used to point it as Salman Khan.
We came together so that our reunion program could work out. Thanks to us and to the idea of reuion I did make friends with people whom once I knew – a lot more thn I used to talk while I was in school. We have discussed life, education, career, finances, real estate investments, stocks market and what not.almost a year and half it was every Friday I used to call up Jayraj – yeh week ka program kya hain. How much they used to tease me. Anish always says – tujhe ladki mein kaun ginta hain – hehe
They hv bared me n my non stop cribbing and non sense and a few personal issues all the time while I was in the process of coming to Toronto. They were so harrowed that that if it was in their hands they would have parceled me at that time. Diwali, navratri, weekends and last year’s holi – man I so wanted to have bhang n these guys some how managed to get me though only it was like one glass.
Poor Jayraj – as if hez working in Infosys just for us so that we can hv conference calls. Man I’m still trying to figure out out logic behind conference calls just to make weekend programs as if we were dealing with million dollar business….. man miss that time, but u guys hv to stay in touch n keep meeting even if I m not there. If I was the reason, I shud still be the reason for u guys to spend time together. Miss u all a lot
Karan Oberoi – thts wht the people know you as but for me ur the wacko Kay. What do I write about you, you’ve been the man, philosopher, guide, advisor, counselor and the elder bro. Who says relationships that last forever are of those with blood ties. Whether it be good or bad, u’ve stood by me, and with you I have got another set of parents and a sister who care as much as my own. Though always tried being the elder one which you are, I never let u win. The man who taught me to live life even in the most miserable conditions, taught me to be myself and made me believe in myself and my dreams. If I am a social butterfly or a people’s person is all because of u. If it not had been for u, I would still be that same stupid gal, ugly, introvert, reserved gal. Though not having blood ties, u’ve been my elder bro – conservative, protective and my bestest friend. A person who is always so critical on me, I know I used to feel so bad when u used to be rude but all that rudeness n nastyness has sculpted good things in me that are goin to stay wid me all my life. I need not hv said all this here cuz I know u hate it and u gonna blast me for it – BUT remember u were the one who made me start my Blog....
Raj – I met you when I was hunting a house to move from Mississauga and then we crashed again in the French class. If it not had been for you, Rohan and Vivek I would hv died in those French classes. Had and have a good time with you guys. You are always there if I need an advice be it my study permit, PR application, work permit, income tax whtever which is important to be known and the right time. You’ve been really helpful to a stranger like me. And plz plz plz gift me your dog (Your Max – bahut pyar se rakhungi….will never ask nething) ;) thanks for being there.
Rikin – Its not the ideal way people begin friendships the way it was ours but its been 2 yrs now and sometimes I think as if I’ve known you for years. I remember, forget even being friends we had like a brief acquaintance and I harrowed you with so many questions all the time while I was applyin to Canada. I still remember it was a Sunday nite for me and morning for you and I made you proof read my recommendation letters and though you were not ought to do that how sweet of you that you did it. That’s not the reason you find a place in this list but you were the very first person I met after coming to Toronto – My FIRST Friend, in Canada. The day I met you I was really low and upset cuz I had been sitting at home and did not go out for like 20 days and was really feeling homesick. That’s a diff thing the day I met you u made miss Bombay a lot that I actually went home and cried but those couple of hrs with you made me feel so comfortable and at home and till today its been the best time, your statements always brings me peace. I know you call me crazy all the time and after readin this I’m sure u’ll say I’m absolutely mad but its ohk… now I’m used to listening it… hehe. I know I do bore you a lot wid my stupidity but you will always be a special friend. It’s a total diff thing tht everytime you are coming down, u tell me; but forget meeting, u don’t even hv the time to call me…. And by the way I still need to meet Bugsy… loved to hv u as a friends, tons of thanks…..
And now the reason I am here in this beautiful world.
My Parents – I know most of my friends and many other people are in an awe when it comes to my mum and dad. Unlike other girls who were around me, I was never told to do certain things or not to do certain things cause I was girl. Wonder if many girls have so much freedom when it comes to taking decisions.
Daddy dearest - I hv been my Poppy’s support system, he has this blind faith in me n don’t know why he belives that I know it all, which acres me all the time. Its been the most difficult thing in his life to let me come here but he just accepted everything without a single word. No questions and no discussions of why, where, what for. I can just say one thing - You are the BEST. Though u tend to be too boring at times but just love the way you are.
Mommy bestest – I guess I hv the weirdest mum in the world. She hates to love me n the same is with me, though we are mother and daughter we are like those bad, wicked, naughty gals. We can talk n gossip bout nething. I guess I hv the only mother who thinks tht I am useless creature cuz I’ve managed to stay single for so long. She so wanted me to hv a BF so that she could team up with him to trouble and irritate me – she calls me a waste and I love it when u say that mom!!! while at my age when all mothers want their daughters to get married and settle down, she gave me all the liberty to do things the way i wanted be it for my personal life, my career - A very practical, understanding n damn Chalu mom...Hehe haha… Shez been my bestest friend may be that’s the reason I never needed a girl friend as u can see only guys are there in my list. Mom by giving me the freedom and independence you have let me learn from nature's best teacher called - LIFE.
My chotu, my sis – Sushmita – man everytime I talk to her I only feel that I wish I was like her when I was of her age. Shez 6 yrs younger to me but shez been my biggest support system. Man she knows it all, n she knows me inside out – just like still water runs deep. Nobody understands me as much she does, though she doesn’t behave older thn me but I feel she can read my heart. She is very strong, very firm, very very smart and intelligent. Can give u a run for your money. Love u chotu
My grandfather, my dadu – I hv been his eldest granddaughter and he has made me the ideal grand-daughter. Hez so proud of me and loves me so much, prolly not many wud hv such great dadu. Its been 8 months here n if the world may forget but ther isn’t been a single Sunday since the day I hv landed in this country that he has forgotten to call me. I know I mean the world to him and I would never let u down.
My grandmother, my dadi – I wish she was here to see me come so far. She was so so so proud of me and she has been my ideal, a very strong, and independent, self created woman. I was the apple of her eyes, dare if anyone could ever point a finger at me or discourage me in front of her, that person would be trashed, she would not even spare my mum and dad. When people see me they find her replica in me and nothing makes me feel so proud than this. I hope dadi I hv stayed upto your expectations. Your r the biggest thing I miss in life today, if there was some way that I could have you back in my life, I would hv done nething for it.
Mum & Dad & Dadu – u guys hv stood by me so strong in past 2 yrs when more half world was not with me and supported me with all I wanted and the way I wanted.
And last but not the least – My GOD – I’m always troubling & fighting with him and make him give me all the things I want, but because he is GOD he troubles me a lot in return before giving me everything I wanted. God – you try my patience a lot. Though I cant complain because he gave me all I wanted and will hv to give all I need. I thank you for giving a life filled with so many nice beautiful and positive colors. I can only wish and pray that everyone has a colorful life just like me!!!
HAPPY HOLI to everyone!!!
Feb 21, 2008
I, Me and Myself
Before I start writing, I have to mention that my cooking experiments have never turned a nightmare. I baked a chocolate cake and for sake of fun, I wanted to do some variation. God’s knows how and from where weird ideas come to my head. I mixed red wine with orange flavored Tang and soaked the cake in it n dressed it with frozen mixed berries. I was to hesitant and scared to taste the combination of red wine mixed with Tang, so gave a shout to Meowww (that’s my roomie Soumya) to come and taste it. She said it has turned awesome n trust me it was so fabulous that we all 5 gals pounced on it n in just 2 mins the cake was over. Just we missed the freshly whipped cream as a topping, n with that it would have tasted like heaven!!!! – No wonder Meoowww calls me Creative cook.
Now back to myself. People have had been telling that I had changed after coming to Canada and I continuously kept disagreeing to the fact that – I had changed but not for good. After all the rona – dhona for months, I guess I have learnt to be happy while staying all by myself. Only after I overcame all this emotional roller coaster, Arjun visited me last week and we had a great time together.
Honestly, now even I feel more comfortable with my life here – though its not that great but its neither that bad. After really long, I mean absolutely after 8 months my life has blessed me by keeping me busy and I guess I love it that way. And I only realized it when my project instructor Paula specially came upto me to tell me, “You love to stay extremely busy, don’t you? You don’t want to take a break for 5 mins while you are in lab”. Even I agree to her but I guess I love to stay busy. I guess idleness would kill me someday for sure.
By the way people have stop complaining that I am not the same Dee, darshi, darshu, tashi , they knew and now they have the same old me – only difference I’m not around them. My life is back to normal – I mean I am back to attending calls again figuring out where people’s lives are leading, solving their so called love issues, being the relationship counselor and the life expert.
And to people who really think that I look very different and attractive, these days and that I have lost a lot of weight. There’s nothing like that and no special reason behind it. I am not used to listening such things about me so BOYS stop complimenting.
Now what’s next with me… I guess will be finishing my semester in 2 months and by then I guess I should have some job. And we will see what happens next
Jan 1, 2008
The Christmas week & the New Year
I had a great christmas week starting from 24th dec'07 (i m sure i dont need to specify tht but then too). I really had a good time with friends, movies and lots of masti. We travelled to Oak Ridge and Port Perry, some of beautiful places in toronto, all covered with snow n frozen lake Ontario. Being in a vacation home with a balcony which gives u a breath taking and a mind blowing view. i loved it more cuz some how white attracts me a lot. it just looked like heaven on earth, the weather being really nice, not very very cold. I never thought with what I had seen in toronto that it had such beautiful places around. The saddest part tht i forgot to take my camera charger.... damn!!!
After all the fun in that beautiful home, we went for some gambling at the blue heron some where near port perry, which in itself is located at a beautiful place. Won a lil moolah with black jack and later moved our way back to toronto aka scarborough (sometimes, rather all the time I feel its a sad place) never mind just another four months n prolly might just move to Edmonton if I dont manage to find nething worth in toronto.
Now coming to last night i.e. 31st Dec 2007, was a fabulous day and a great evening and a nice new year start. i celebrated the new years according to indian time with all my frnds on phone, i was glad cuz i wanted to be with my few frnds n family, then followed by the evening, I sooo much felt like dressing up n going out to see the fire works in downtown. So i dared to wear a short skirt in tht cold weather and believe me it was cold but i survived. We had some good time strolling down the streets, these guys so wanted to go to a club n dance thru the nite n i so wanted to be in the open spaces that we split into 2 groups. I shudnt be happy but those guys never landed up going to a club, they got separated, the phones lines were jammed and welcome the new year in a despair n jiff. And me on the other hand enjoying the snow at Nathan Phillip Square, counting down the seconds and then shouting with everyone, and the fireworks. Then we were so hungry that we picked up a sub then travelled out way back home, at home we played some nice music, made some hot gulab jamun, again was on calls till 5.00 am n then finally slept.
Now a brand new day, a brand new year, today I just don't feel like thinking too much about the last year nor wonder about what will happen in this year. A nice snow clad day, lotta peace in my head, a nice naughty smile.... so i guess it's a nice start. Will eventually look forward to things.....
So HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!
By the way the pic is of the house we stayed in n was clicked when we were entering and after tht my cam died...... :(
Dec 13, 2007
Building a Dream
Dreams can get lost. From time to time most of us need a refresher course on building a dream.. The dust of day-to-day living can bury them. New dreams are often birthed in the midst of trial.
Dreams take time to build. When building a dream you must be prepared to persevere. Building a dream is not for the faint-hearted! It takes faith, faith in yourself and faith in God who plants the seeds of dreams in the first place.
Most of us have a dream buried beneath the rubble of life. Take it out and dust it off. If you have no dreams left, put a new dream in your heart.
Share your dream with one person who will walk beside you and encourage you in building a dream. We all have days when the daily dust piles up again and it’s easy to let the dream slip away. A soul-mate will paint the colors of your dream for you when you have forgotten the picture.
Building a dream can start today
D – Define your dream. If it’s more education be specific about a particular course. If its starting your own business pinpoint exactly what you would do. If it’s helping the needy then decide what need and in what location. Identify where you’re going.
R - Resource yourself. In other words, do your homework. Find out what it takes to make happen what you want to happen. Where is your course offered? How much does it cost? Is there a market niche for the business you want to start? Can you practically get to the need you wish to help meet? Evaluate the risk. The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing!
E - Equip yourself. Start a savings account for your dream and put in pennies if that’s all you have today. Register for one course. Write up a business plan. Volunteer in the area of the need you have identified. Many dreams go by the wayside because no one ever took that first step. Make a choice today.
A – Apply yourself. Dreams take hard work and often sacrifice. You will have to say “no” to some things in order to pursue your dream. Persevere.
M – Manage yourself. Know your priorities and stick to them. Many things will call you away from your dream. Don’t let regret of yesterday or fear of tomorrow rob you of pursuing your dream today!
Dreams take time to build. When building a dream you must be prepared to persevere. Building a dream is not for the faint-hearted! It takes faith, faith in yourself and faith in God who plants the seeds of dreams in the first place.
Most of us have a dream buried beneath the rubble of life. Take it out and dust it off. If you have no dreams left, put a new dream in your heart.
Share your dream with one person who will walk beside you and encourage you in building a dream. We all have days when the daily dust piles up again and it’s easy to let the dream slip away. A soul-mate will paint the colors of your dream for you when you have forgotten the picture.
Building a dream can start today
D – Define your dream. If it’s more education be specific about a particular course. If its starting your own business pinpoint exactly what you would do. If it’s helping the needy then decide what need and in what location. Identify where you’re going.
R - Resource yourself. In other words, do your homework. Find out what it takes to make happen what you want to happen. Where is your course offered? How much does it cost? Is there a market niche for the business you want to start? Can you practically get to the need you wish to help meet? Evaluate the risk. The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing!
E - Equip yourself. Start a savings account for your dream and put in pennies if that’s all you have today. Register for one course. Write up a business plan. Volunteer in the area of the need you have identified. Many dreams go by the wayside because no one ever took that first step. Make a choice today.
A – Apply yourself. Dreams take hard work and often sacrifice. You will have to say “no” to some things in order to pursue your dream. Persevere.
M – Manage yourself. Know your priorities and stick to them. Many things will call you away from your dream. Don’t let regret of yesterday or fear of tomorrow rob you of pursuing your dream today!
Dec 12, 2007
Chocolate Vs. Love
Have you ever gone a long time without eating and felt your stomach groan with hunger? In those situations, what was your body telling you? Obviously, it was crying out for some nutritious food. Yet, how often have you consumed chocolate candy out of desperation or convenience, just to get rid of those hunger pangs? I've done it several times. What happens?
Chocolate Highs
Initially, feeding your empty stomach with chocolate feels great. The ache goes away, your hunger disappears, and all of the sugar and caffeine hitting your system gives you the sensation of feeling "high." Buzzing with bliss, you wonder why you don't eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
About thirty minutes later, however, everything changes. A sharper pain than the one before grips your stomach, and your head becomes dizzy. All of your pleasant feelings degenerate into discomfort worse than your original hunger.
What caused this pain to result?
Was there something wrong with the chocolate? No. Chocolate candy is safe to eat, but it doesn't contain the nutrients necessary for your body to survive. Therefore, when you are hungry, chocolate alone cannot help you. Instead, it makes you feel worse. For your body to thrive, it must receive a steady diet of nutritious food. Then you can enjoy chocolate as a fun dessert. However, you will get sick if you try to live solely on chocolate.
Unfortunately, many singles enter dating relationships by trying to "eat chocolate on an empty stomach." They approach one another with hungry hearts, hoping that the other person will feed them. This condition can be especially acute when a man or woman feels lonely, rejected, or starved for acceptance. Without love, people become desperate for something to fill the void inside their hearts. A romance, with its potentially sweet taste and emotional highs, seems the likely solution to their hunger.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
As a single adult, they are hungry for love and searched repeatedly to find a man/woman to fulfill them. Every new romance that they entered felt like a chocolate sugar high, with soaring emotions, exhilarating self-esteem boosts, and a sweet sense of security. In the headiness of romantic rapture, their heart thinks that a man/woman could fulfill them forever. Nevertheless, the euphoria inevitably collapses. Sometimes, it takes weeks. Other times, it takes months.
Regardless of how wonderful a new dating relationship feels, the romantic bliss will eventually wear off. Human affection may taste good, but, like chocolate, it cannot give our hearts what they need for survival. The true hunger of our hearts is to be accepted unconditionally. We need more than just attention, friendship, or sex. We long for someone to love us despite our faults, mistakes, and imperfections. Our hearts remain hollow when no one completely accepts us.
Unconditional love
Humans, however, cannot give each other unconditional love. We get upset or impatient when someone fails to make us happy. Furthermore, we base our love for someone on how well they perform. The root of this problem is sin, which causes constant mistakes, conflicts, and disappointments. No one is accepting, patient, and forgiving all of the time. Therefore, human love is like chocolate because the pleasure doesn't last. None of us have the ability to accept people unconditionally. The affection we give to each other may taste good initially, but the thrill disappears as our selfish motives demand performance. And this problem lasts from the cradle to the grave.
I don't mean to sound fatalistic, but we must acknowledge the reality that human love is performance-based. It always has been and always will be. You can date anyone in this world, but that person cannot give your heart the unconditional acceptance that it craves.
This truth also applies in marriage. Someone once asked my dad's friend, "What is your wife's opinion of you?"
He replied, "It depends on what day you ask her. Some days she loves me. Other days, I drive her crazy, and she wonders why she married me. My wife and I wish we could love each other perfectly, but it is impossible since we both sin and make choices that hurt each other."
Is marriage the answer?
Consider those around you. How many of your married friends warn you that marriage is tougher than you think? Yet, how many of your single friends complain of feeling incomplete without a spouse?
All too often, we neglect what our hearts really need and attempt to satisfy ourselves with a cheap substitute called romance. In essence, we try to live on an unhealthy diet of chocolate. But our hearts cannot survive under the demands of performance-based love. We inevitably burn out, wear out, or drop out, from trying to please others.
Real love is out there
You don’t need a new set of dating principles or techniques. A perfect love waits to delight you. This love, however, cannot soothe the ache within your heart until you stop chasing after romantic passion or passionate sex. Those shallow quests lead to emptiness. The hunger in your heart is for real passion.
Passion Awaits You
Stop settling for less than what your heart truly desires. A higher love waits to take you beyond the jaded, cynical disappointments that result from most dating relationships. No longer does your heart have to survive on the cheap chocolate of empty romance. You were made to experience more than just manipulation, performance, or selfish indulgence. You were created by God to share in the ecstasy of real love, not just when you get to heaven but in life on earth as well.
Before you can truly love another person, however, you must first understand how much you are already loved. So open your heart, and prepare for the passion that awaits you.
Chocolate Highs
Initially, feeding your empty stomach with chocolate feels great. The ache goes away, your hunger disappears, and all of the sugar and caffeine hitting your system gives you the sensation of feeling "high." Buzzing with bliss, you wonder why you don't eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
About thirty minutes later, however, everything changes. A sharper pain than the one before grips your stomach, and your head becomes dizzy. All of your pleasant feelings degenerate into discomfort worse than your original hunger.
What caused this pain to result?
Was there something wrong with the chocolate? No. Chocolate candy is safe to eat, but it doesn't contain the nutrients necessary for your body to survive. Therefore, when you are hungry, chocolate alone cannot help you. Instead, it makes you feel worse. For your body to thrive, it must receive a steady diet of nutritious food. Then you can enjoy chocolate as a fun dessert. However, you will get sick if you try to live solely on chocolate.
Unfortunately, many singles enter dating relationships by trying to "eat chocolate on an empty stomach." They approach one another with hungry hearts, hoping that the other person will feed them. This condition can be especially acute when a man or woman feels lonely, rejected, or starved for acceptance. Without love, people become desperate for something to fill the void inside their hearts. A romance, with its potentially sweet taste and emotional highs, seems the likely solution to their hunger.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
As a single adult, they are hungry for love and searched repeatedly to find a man/woman to fulfill them. Every new romance that they entered felt like a chocolate sugar high, with soaring emotions, exhilarating self-esteem boosts, and a sweet sense of security. In the headiness of romantic rapture, their heart thinks that a man/woman could fulfill them forever. Nevertheless, the euphoria inevitably collapses. Sometimes, it takes weeks. Other times, it takes months.
Regardless of how wonderful a new dating relationship feels, the romantic bliss will eventually wear off. Human affection may taste good, but, like chocolate, it cannot give our hearts what they need for survival. The true hunger of our hearts is to be accepted unconditionally. We need more than just attention, friendship, or sex. We long for someone to love us despite our faults, mistakes, and imperfections. Our hearts remain hollow when no one completely accepts us.
Unconditional love
Humans, however, cannot give each other unconditional love. We get upset or impatient when someone fails to make us happy. Furthermore, we base our love for someone on how well they perform. The root of this problem is sin, which causes constant mistakes, conflicts, and disappointments. No one is accepting, patient, and forgiving all of the time. Therefore, human love is like chocolate because the pleasure doesn't last. None of us have the ability to accept people unconditionally. The affection we give to each other may taste good initially, but the thrill disappears as our selfish motives demand performance. And this problem lasts from the cradle to the grave.
I don't mean to sound fatalistic, but we must acknowledge the reality that human love is performance-based. It always has been and always will be. You can date anyone in this world, but that person cannot give your heart the unconditional acceptance that it craves.
This truth also applies in marriage. Someone once asked my dad's friend, "What is your wife's opinion of you?"
He replied, "It depends on what day you ask her. Some days she loves me. Other days, I drive her crazy, and she wonders why she married me. My wife and I wish we could love each other perfectly, but it is impossible since we both sin and make choices that hurt each other."
Is marriage the answer?
Consider those around you. How many of your married friends warn you that marriage is tougher than you think? Yet, how many of your single friends complain of feeling incomplete without a spouse?
All too often, we neglect what our hearts really need and attempt to satisfy ourselves with a cheap substitute called romance. In essence, we try to live on an unhealthy diet of chocolate. But our hearts cannot survive under the demands of performance-based love. We inevitably burn out, wear out, or drop out, from trying to please others.
Real love is out there
You don’t need a new set of dating principles or techniques. A perfect love waits to delight you. This love, however, cannot soothe the ache within your heart until you stop chasing after romantic passion or passionate sex. Those shallow quests lead to emptiness. The hunger in your heart is for real passion.
Passion Awaits You
Stop settling for less than what your heart truly desires. A higher love waits to take you beyond the jaded, cynical disappointments that result from most dating relationships. No longer does your heart have to survive on the cheap chocolate of empty romance. You were made to experience more than just manipulation, performance, or selfish indulgence. You were created by God to share in the ecstasy of real love, not just when you get to heaven but in life on earth as well.
Before you can truly love another person, however, you must first understand how much you are already loved. So open your heart, and prepare for the passion that awaits you.
Stupid Women
Love is everything in a life of a woman. Failed to be successful in his professional sphere, a man at the moment can’t think about his relationships; on the contrary, a woman, having serious problems with her love affair, can’t concentrate on her job. Either agreeing with these statements or not, you can’t deny the fact that love and relationships are the huge part of a woman’s life. Exceptions are very few.
It all starts in the early childhood. Girls play dolls, marrying them, creating toy families; they play in mothers and daughters. Later girls start to dream of a beautiful white bride’s dress; they’re trying to catch the bouquet on the weddings of their elder relatives and friends. Their favorite topic for discussion are boys, they imagine a magnificent first date, a romantic first kiss, a perfect boyfriend, an ideal husband and a happy family.
Girls fall in love for the first time, and there starts the saga named “women and relationships”. Each girl thinks that she’s the unique one, the happiest or the most miserable. It doesn’t matter in fact, because love stories repeat the same scripts for every woman. Girls fall in and out of love, change boyfriends, making the same mistakes, blame it all on men.
When a woman starts new relationships with a man, she seems to play the main role. Men are obsessed with passionate attempts to get acquatinted with an object of adoration, but in course of time female happens to get too much attached to a partner, complaining of his not giving flowers or paying that tender attention anymore. A man has finally won his woman - she’s calling him everyday; turning for help, advice and understanding; she’s asking in a weepy voice “don’t you love me anymore?” - so does he still have to claim his individual property? His own logic says he doesn’t. Women and their relationships are the great encyclopedia of mistakes. Women tend to forget that the less they show their affection, the more they are appreciated by their second halves.
Women and relationships tell an endless story of a constant search for the Ideal Man that – and that’s proved by science – doesn’t exist. As a result, women try to change male dates in a way to meet their innocent dreams of Mr. Prince Charming on a White Horse. Usually, it never works - he gets annoyed, she gets disappointed.
We all should remind ourselves from time to time that we’re living in the real world, both men and women aren’t perfect, we have our bad habits and sins, some positive or negative past experience, our fears and complexes. While building relationships we have to deal with all that in each other. The love and relationships are never what women or men want them to be. Favorable outcome leads to compromises, dismal end – to everlasting cold war.
It all starts in the early childhood. Girls play dolls, marrying them, creating toy families; they play in mothers and daughters. Later girls start to dream of a beautiful white bride’s dress; they’re trying to catch the bouquet on the weddings of their elder relatives and friends. Their favorite topic for discussion are boys, they imagine a magnificent first date, a romantic first kiss, a perfect boyfriend, an ideal husband and a happy family.
Girls fall in love for the first time, and there starts the saga named “women and relationships”. Each girl thinks that she’s the unique one, the happiest or the most miserable. It doesn’t matter in fact, because love stories repeat the same scripts for every woman. Girls fall in and out of love, change boyfriends, making the same mistakes, blame it all on men.
When a woman starts new relationships with a man, she seems to play the main role. Men are obsessed with passionate attempts to get acquatinted with an object of adoration, but in course of time female happens to get too much attached to a partner, complaining of his not giving flowers or paying that tender attention anymore. A man has finally won his woman - she’s calling him everyday; turning for help, advice and understanding; she’s asking in a weepy voice “don’t you love me anymore?” - so does he still have to claim his individual property? His own logic says he doesn’t. Women and their relationships are the great encyclopedia of mistakes. Women tend to forget that the less they show their affection, the more they are appreciated by their second halves.
Women and relationships tell an endless story of a constant search for the Ideal Man that – and that’s proved by science – doesn’t exist. As a result, women try to change male dates in a way to meet their innocent dreams of Mr. Prince Charming on a White Horse. Usually, it never works - he gets annoyed, she gets disappointed.
We all should remind ourselves from time to time that we’re living in the real world, both men and women aren’t perfect, we have our bad habits and sins, some positive or negative past experience, our fears and complexes. While building relationships we have to deal with all that in each other. The love and relationships are never what women or men want them to be. Favorable outcome leads to compromises, dismal end – to everlasting cold war.
“The Buffalos” by William Carlos
No matter how strong are the values of a man or a woman they should never forget about feelings and happiness that are nowhere else to be found but in the heart of the beloved person. Men and women fight in relationships: fight for more independence, fight to prove their rightness and keep forgetting that love is not a fight but a “mutual support alliance”. William Carlos Williams in his story “The Buffalos” gives an outstanding example of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Francie in this story has a certain notion of what a relationship should be like. She seeks for being loved, understood, as any women does. But as far as it is possible to say – she has some kind of an inner conflict – she seeks love and at the same time she wants to show how independent and strong she is. She belongs to the type of women that will do anything to prove that they are not worse than man are and even better. Francie “had one defect-or habit, rather, which at first amused me. She was a great talker for woman's rights” says the storyteller. In her beloved one she saw love and an adversary at the same time. She got gentleness and love from him but afterwards she seemed to forget how precious it is and in this way she used the person she loved.
The man starts the story by telling: “Once I had a beautiful friend whom I loved and who loved me. It was not easy for us to see each other…”. This summation seems to reflect the whole story. The man loves, but in his relationship with Francie he seeks for pleasures. This is even supported by the fact that “it was sometimes months together before we could meet at all”. It seems to more of a “childish game” for him. The Buffalo story he tells her is some kind of reflection of his personal belief. Buffalos – are free animals, they do whatever they want. He tells it to outline the possibility for men and women live separately and freely like buffalos.
People should fight for their feeling if they want their relationship to work out. Love is not about being or not being dependent on each other. People should FEEL and think lesser than they do, stop constantly analyzing their relationship and just be happy, enjoying their moments together. This is the only way to really feel free. And at the end people are not buffalos, they are not animals- they are human being with hearts and souls. And the only thing really important thing to fight for is LOVE.
Francie in this story has a certain notion of what a relationship should be like. She seeks for being loved, understood, as any women does. But as far as it is possible to say – she has some kind of an inner conflict – she seeks love and at the same time she wants to show how independent and strong she is. She belongs to the type of women that will do anything to prove that they are not worse than man are and even better. Francie “had one defect-or habit, rather, which at first amused me. She was a great talker for woman's rights” says the storyteller. In her beloved one she saw love and an adversary at the same time. She got gentleness and love from him but afterwards she seemed to forget how precious it is and in this way she used the person she loved.
The man starts the story by telling: “Once I had a beautiful friend whom I loved and who loved me. It was not easy for us to see each other…”. This summation seems to reflect the whole story. The man loves, but in his relationship with Francie he seeks for pleasures. This is even supported by the fact that “it was sometimes months together before we could meet at all”. It seems to more of a “childish game” for him. The Buffalo story he tells her is some kind of reflection of his personal belief. Buffalos – are free animals, they do whatever they want. He tells it to outline the possibility for men and women live separately and freely like buffalos.
People should fight for their feeling if they want their relationship to work out. Love is not about being or not being dependent on each other. People should FEEL and think lesser than they do, stop constantly analyzing their relationship and just be happy, enjoying their moments together. This is the only way to really feel free. And at the end people are not buffalos, they are not animals- they are human being with hearts and souls. And the only thing really important thing to fight for is LOVE.
Just my thoughts put in words by some1 else!!!
This is a poem on Radhika’s blog.
If I ever say goodbye
Please don’t ask me, why???
But if ever you do the same,
I’ll readily take all the blame
If ever I decide to forget you,
I’ll erase your memory too
But if ever you do the same,
I’ll see to it you never forget my name!!
If ever in life we meet
I guess the memories would be sweet
But if destiny has something else in store
That certainly would be sweeter, I’m sure!!!
I had a few things or rather thoughts something like the above but was wondering if I would able to put those in words. Or to some extend I have actually put those words above in practice, specially the last 2 para’s. hehe I know I am such a……….. I am fed up of writing to much of philosophy on my blog, so lets have fun reading something practical and much more realistic.
If I ever say goodbye
Please don’t ask me, why???
But if ever you do the same,
I’ll readily take all the blame
If ever I decide to forget you,
I’ll erase your memory too
But if ever you do the same,
I’ll see to it you never forget my name!!
If ever in life we meet
I guess the memories would be sweet
But if destiny has something else in store
That certainly would be sweeter, I’m sure!!!
I had a few things or rather thoughts something like the above but was wondering if I would able to put those in words. Or to some extend I have actually put those words above in practice, specially the last 2 para’s. hehe I know I am such a……….. I am fed up of writing to much of philosophy on my blog, so lets have fun reading something practical and much more realistic.
Dec 10, 2007
Happiness scattered....
It was really nice lovely Sunday after really really long. Don’t know, something was soooo good about this day. With sleeping really late last night with all the assignments, dint feel like waking up till late in morning, but how was it possible. Why not???? You may ask, because it was Sunday, the only day in the week when everybody in the world remembers me without fail. All my Sunday’s start with an early morning call from my dadu, followed with my random friends all over world and then my darling parents, especially mom, with some gossip about the people in our world till mom feels sleepy and I think that its high time that I get out of my bed and get moving. Prolly the only day in the week I feel so relaxed and at home.
What was so special about today… actually nothing but it was once nice day. I was in my bed, believe me till 1 pm just simply attending calls. The best thing was I spoke to rushabh, anish and jayraj, just the same way like we used to have the multi millon dollar business conference calls for our weekend programs, all the guys pulling my leg and arguing and then finally agreeing to go to the place, I wanted to go… I miss that bossyness so much. It wasn’t only with the Joseph ites, but with other guys as well.
Watched Aaja nachle in the afternoon and believe me I was so jealous of Madhuri Dixit, she looked so elegant and beautiful at her age. I wish I am able to maintain like her till I reach her age. I guess after long I had madness attack, I was just dancing my way all thru the house, cracking really funny jokes, I felt that there was happiness all over my place. Finally with chef in me, we just had banana milkshake with fresh cream and cherries topped with chocolate ice cream. Yuummmmmm…… What else
I want before I hit the bed.
Don’t remember the last time I was so happy without having a reason, so just want to make a small prayer tonight that today’s spirit stays with me for a long time. Thank you god for such a beautiful day to cherish in my life.
Dec 6, 2007
Correlated....
I dont know the last time I read my friends blogs and a few more. It seems that everyone in the world had taken a long break from blogging and now they are back to their respective blogs.
I was reading parag's blog and believe me I just couldn’t stop smiling and laughing while i was reading it. I could see my roomates with the expression on their faces, "Has she gone mad?????" but they would not understand. I found a lot of similarities to the life I am leading these days. Life's definitely changed for good in like less than 4 months. I miss a lot of things, though I do get home cooked food, but its different when u have ur mom cooking for u. Though I am a good cook but it is boring to eat food that u cook. For a change, rather not a change cuz i used to this back home - to cook for boys. Like home, I have managed to some companions while being at school - again all guys, and land up cooking for them cuz i think they are mad over Indian food. The moment Bernard hears about pakora's his mouth starts watering.
After really really long I had a great time last night. Today our final formal report for our semester was due and we all guys started working on it like last evening at 4. After working like machines all of us were so tired and hungry that me, Bernard, Raoul, Monique, Kristein and Jigar decided that we should take a dinner break but it was so cold outside that no one wanted to come back to the library once we walked out. Finally I suggested that we should go to my place, have some nice hot Indian food and get back to the report. Everyone agreed in no time and we had some good dinner all together at my place. It was like a party time and we did not land up back to our reports till 11 pm. finally after all the fun we started working till 3.00 am and again tired took some sleep and hit back to college by 8.30. it seemed to be a long long day. Finally all major assignments come to an end for this semester and a finals next week.
Finally had some nice, enjoyable and memorable moments to store in memories of my first semester here. My oral presentations were fabulous and I guess I scored 90+ in all of them (I know people would say, "who can compete you in talking?" right). But again something comes to mind about the life here. The happiness here is just momentary. It’s gone once that time is gone. It’s all about leading a loner's life. You really don’t have a loving face to see when you get back home, cuz no one is waiting for u at home. It’s a juiceless life.
This brings me to the same point that parag has written as the last lines - BEING SINGLE IS SO BORING!!!!!!!!! hahaha believe me I am saying this. I know people who would read this would have a raised eyebrows cuz I am sure this is something they would not expect me to say but I finally gave in to that thought. (Samandaro ka pani koi na pee sake, akela khara jeevan koi naa jee saka). May be I never thought that being single was boring because I had great friends and life in mumbai. But when you are in a phase like me where you really dont have nething to look forward to makes me think that atleast if I had some1 in my life, it would give me a reason to look forward to things. This makes me think to which my mom has been telling to me for some time now - START THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE.
I guess I think I want to think over that option seriously and give it some serious thoughts and time. BUT Where the hell are all good guys.... the ones I knew who probably were nice guys and interested in me gave up on me after really waiting long and tried too hard to pursue me to get into a committed relationship. And all of them now, either have some1 else in their life or are all ready to get married in coming few months. Hehehe hahaha… I know I always have a hard luck when it comes to Cards and love, I am never on the winning side... But one thing for sure is that I have made up my mind that I am seriously going to consider it and think over it. I will have some quality time only after March so I think I should start hunting so that when I have time, I can put it to some good use... :)
I don’t know but I have always believed my instincts, and they have been correct almost most of times. And this time I have a gut feeling that after Christmas I am going to have a much organized life than I ever had before. I need stability to my life which eventually will come along. Have to really work hard next semester cuz it’s an important one and a lot is dependent on what I do and how I do,in the coming 4 months. Keeping my fingers crossed for a few things I have in my mind and really hope that they happen to me.... It has been ages that things have happened to me which I badly wanted in life. Hoping to have a great New Year star and have lots of things to look forward to.
I was reading parag's blog and believe me I just couldn’t stop smiling and laughing while i was reading it. I could see my roomates with the expression on their faces, "Has she gone mad?????" but they would not understand. I found a lot of similarities to the life I am leading these days. Life's definitely changed for good in like less than 4 months. I miss a lot of things, though I do get home cooked food, but its different when u have ur mom cooking for u. Though I am a good cook but it is boring to eat food that u cook. For a change, rather not a change cuz i used to this back home - to cook for boys. Like home, I have managed to some companions while being at school - again all guys, and land up cooking for them cuz i think they are mad over Indian food. The moment Bernard hears about pakora's his mouth starts watering.
After really really long I had a great time last night. Today our final formal report for our semester was due and we all guys started working on it like last evening at 4. After working like machines all of us were so tired and hungry that me, Bernard, Raoul, Monique, Kristein and Jigar decided that we should take a dinner break but it was so cold outside that no one wanted to come back to the library once we walked out. Finally I suggested that we should go to my place, have some nice hot Indian food and get back to the report. Everyone agreed in no time and we had some good dinner all together at my place. It was like a party time and we did not land up back to our reports till 11 pm. finally after all the fun we started working till 3.00 am and again tired took some sleep and hit back to college by 8.30. it seemed to be a long long day. Finally all major assignments come to an end for this semester and a finals next week.
Finally had some nice, enjoyable and memorable moments to store in memories of my first semester here. My oral presentations were fabulous and I guess I scored 90+ in all of them (I know people would say, "who can compete you in talking?" right). But again something comes to mind about the life here. The happiness here is just momentary. It’s gone once that time is gone. It’s all about leading a loner's life. You really don’t have a loving face to see when you get back home, cuz no one is waiting for u at home. It’s a juiceless life.
This brings me to the same point that parag has written as the last lines - BEING SINGLE IS SO BORING!!!!!!!!! hahaha believe me I am saying this. I know people who would read this would have a raised eyebrows cuz I am sure this is something they would not expect me to say but I finally gave in to that thought. (Samandaro ka pani koi na pee sake, akela khara jeevan koi naa jee saka). May be I never thought that being single was boring because I had great friends and life in mumbai. But when you are in a phase like me where you really dont have nething to look forward to makes me think that atleast if I had some1 in my life, it would give me a reason to look forward to things. This makes me think to which my mom has been telling to me for some time now - START THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE.
I guess I think I want to think over that option seriously and give it some serious thoughts and time. BUT Where the hell are all good guys.... the ones I knew who probably were nice guys and interested in me gave up on me after really waiting long and tried too hard to pursue me to get into a committed relationship. And all of them now, either have some1 else in their life or are all ready to get married in coming few months. Hehehe hahaha… I know I always have a hard luck when it comes to Cards and love, I am never on the winning side... But one thing for sure is that I have made up my mind that I am seriously going to consider it and think over it. I will have some quality time only after March so I think I should start hunting so that when I have time, I can put it to some good use... :)
I don’t know but I have always believed my instincts, and they have been correct almost most of times. And this time I have a gut feeling that after Christmas I am going to have a much organized life than I ever had before. I need stability to my life which eventually will come along. Have to really work hard next semester cuz it’s an important one and a lot is dependent on what I do and how I do,in the coming 4 months. Keeping my fingers crossed for a few things I have in my mind and really hope that they happen to me.... It has been ages that things have happened to me which I badly wanted in life. Hoping to have a great New Year star and have lots of things to look forward to.
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