"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections"
Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it,
the more it will elude it.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
it comes soflty and sits on your shoulders.....
This is such a sweet message i got from my dad the moment i opened my inbox in the morning... and believe me i hv experienced this and its so true... i hv been bickering abt a few things for a month now... eventually was missing all my FRIENDS and my FAMILY a lot... but in the process of getting all things right i did not look at the good things it has given me...
Now i realize tht wht a life i hv lead back in mumbai... i hardly had time for myself, to sit back and just think about MYSELF... dont remember the last time i tried to be selfish and was just thinking bout myself... School, job and friends, i was occupied all the time with something or the other and here in toronto I had nuthing to do, no worries, nuthing challenging to look forward to, JUST ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO
But now I have a lot to look forward to. Yesterday I started packing my stuff as I will be moving into a new apartment with a set of roomies. It reminded me of the day when i started packing my things to come to toronto... man tht was a difficult day, i had a world to myself and i had only 4 bags and 75 kgs tht i could carry (that was really difficult, all the things close to me had to be left back home) and was for the first time i realized tht i had countable days left, i was really really sad. But yest i was so excited packing things, i will be all by myself and after long i will hv a chance to do up my space with things i like(i hv lotta things in my mind to do when i move in, wow).
My space - Lotta pillows, Candles, flowers, earthy colours arond and SOFT TOYS.. I'm so much looking forward to it.... ALL SET TO MOVE ON with everything new to life and i guess the reason I left India, did not go to US and came to Canada seems to be accomplished... Want to revive a few things in life but with new people and new friends.... A lot to look forward to....
Oct 1, 2007
Sep 16, 2007
It's a month!!!!
Finally it's a month here in Toronto. Yest night while I was trying to complete my assignment i realized that it's month here.today morning dont remem how many calls i attended and all were like sweetie its a month and we dont believe that you not missing ne1 or crying either (how to tell you peopele how much i cried when i woke in the morning - was missing mum like hell)I guess after long i spoke to almost all the people in my family and lotta friends, other reason it happened cuz it was ganesh visharjan and a sunday and all were getting ready to go for visarjan and dance like mad people with those ghati street music - man i missed it this year, it used to be so much fun.I'm feeling much better since the past week as I am the way I like it the best - Staying Busy. School really keeps me busy with a few things so i dont land up thinking rubbish things.
I think my blog recently or rather has become kinda of my personal diary. All useless and unwanted things that i shouldnt be thinking bout or worrying kept bothering me and in turn i kept bothering people in past 3 weeks. Finally things are settling down for me. I hv got my peace of mind back and can put this stupid head to some work worth it.
The only thing which i knew was not going to be easy for me was to make new friends. And same thing happened and to add to the disaster my class was full of Indians - definately not a bad thing cuz I am one and proud to be one - BUT the crowd was really pathetic and the remaining ones were Chinese and i was left with like 7 more people to interact with. But as I always say, ma be late or whatever i am blessed with really great circle of friends and i had Farnz in my class(I am a big social butterfly and need to have stupid mad funny people around me - not forgetting i am a loner as well and would like to go into my shell ocassionally and not be disturbed or bothered for some time)
Me and Farnz were caught up in the same crisis of transfer credits and some how trying to get rid of the extra english class that we were put in. But at the end we landed up being together and finally becoming lab partners. She is a nice Iranian girl (Boys dont run your imaginations wild - Shez MARRIED.... hahaha) Just a kind of a girl i would want to hang around with, not much of gossiping, bickering and some good realistic stuff to converse about.
Then to add more to get rid of my boredom and wanted to do a lil diff thing other than biotechnology, i took up french classes. I thought lets try to learn a new language. I was hesitant cuz i hate studying languages and then to study them and later write exams but however i took it. God to add more to it - i have french class on saturday morning at 9.30 am till 12.30... felt like killing myself. so finally i landed in the french class yest absolutely with no further interest to learn it. BUT.....
I think yest was really an awesome day close to the best day so far... the french class turned out to be a cool class, had lots of fun and finally made a few mad frnds.. for people n my lil sis - yes guys (trust me life is so simple when ur with guys)... i had met these guys before,a week back for like 15 -20 mins at siddhi's apt (yea tht bombay bitch tht keeps troubling me all the time with her stupid issues and problems - wonder how do those guys bear her) and then i see them in class. we just started chatting n making fun of the chinese girls in the class and by the end of the class i had 2 new friends...
Things are coming to my old routine and the weather is getting cooler. Just a few more things needs to be sorted out and my gaddi will be back on track ready to move further. Insha allah by next month everything will be in place and really hv no clue and dont want to think or analyse or plan for what's going to come next... will live the way i used to in bombay and take each day as it comes to me, life so far has not been really cruel, yea sometimes bad and sad but all for the better so no complaints.. Yipeee i am towards becoming the same old stupid and mad giel just like before. will put some nice stuff to read on my blog.. hopefully and not my jeevan katha.. hehe
I think my blog recently or rather has become kinda of my personal diary. All useless and unwanted things that i shouldnt be thinking bout or worrying kept bothering me and in turn i kept bothering people in past 3 weeks. Finally things are settling down for me. I hv got my peace of mind back and can put this stupid head to some work worth it.
The only thing which i knew was not going to be easy for me was to make new friends. And same thing happened and to add to the disaster my class was full of Indians - definately not a bad thing cuz I am one and proud to be one - BUT the crowd was really pathetic and the remaining ones were Chinese and i was left with like 7 more people to interact with. But as I always say, ma be late or whatever i am blessed with really great circle of friends and i had Farnz in my class(I am a big social butterfly and need to have stupid mad funny people around me - not forgetting i am a loner as well and would like to go into my shell ocassionally and not be disturbed or bothered for some time)
Me and Farnz were caught up in the same crisis of transfer credits and some how trying to get rid of the extra english class that we were put in. But at the end we landed up being together and finally becoming lab partners. She is a nice Iranian girl (Boys dont run your imaginations wild - Shez MARRIED.... hahaha) Just a kind of a girl i would want to hang around with, not much of gossiping, bickering and some good realistic stuff to converse about.
Then to add more to get rid of my boredom and wanted to do a lil diff thing other than biotechnology, i took up french classes. I thought lets try to learn a new language. I was hesitant cuz i hate studying languages and then to study them and later write exams but however i took it. God to add more to it - i have french class on saturday morning at 9.30 am till 12.30... felt like killing myself. so finally i landed in the french class yest absolutely with no further interest to learn it. BUT.....
I think yest was really an awesome day close to the best day so far... the french class turned out to be a cool class, had lots of fun and finally made a few mad frnds.. for people n my lil sis - yes guys (trust me life is so simple when ur with guys)... i had met these guys before,a week back for like 15 -20 mins at siddhi's apt (yea tht bombay bitch tht keeps troubling me all the time with her stupid issues and problems - wonder how do those guys bear her) and then i see them in class. we just started chatting n making fun of the chinese girls in the class and by the end of the class i had 2 new friends...
Things are coming to my old routine and the weather is getting cooler. Just a few more things needs to be sorted out and my gaddi will be back on track ready to move further. Insha allah by next month everything will be in place and really hv no clue and dont want to think or analyse or plan for what's going to come next... will live the way i used to in bombay and take each day as it comes to me, life so far has not been really cruel, yea sometimes bad and sad but all for the better so no complaints.. Yipeee i am towards becoming the same old stupid and mad giel just like before. will put some nice stuff to read on my blog.. hopefully and not my jeevan katha.. hehe
Sep 7, 2007
I really dont know but i dont hv titles for my post these days... yest my cuzin left for india n again kinda main aur meri tanhaee.. i know it sounds so not like me but cant help it...
Had a really great long weekend with my cuzin n bhabhi in toronto.. went to niagara falls n places aroud. Yest they left n i had a long day in school.. still trying to be frnds with peoeple n believe me there are hell lotta indians in my program. But they are not the kinds i want to be friends with...
After we dropped my cuzin at the airport yest, i left for school. I was already missing them n started missing home so badly tht i landed up calling home n spoke to my ma n pa. But this time i cudnt controll my tears. i just felt like crying all the time and i landed calling my parents then called my dadu, kaka, kaki n some close frnds(spent a like $10 on calling cards n cried on all the calls equally, i was really missing every1). I didnt come here to b all alone... so far my life had been with people who loved me n i loved, all around me. I landed questioning myself tht this not for which i have moved here.. i had put in lotta efforts, technically fought with people who were against the idea of me coming here.
Today i m more relaxed, a lil low but its all right.. i will move on... i guess from next week i am going to be really busy with school.. for sure will find some accomodation so tht i can move out from my uncle's place n be a lil close to my campus so tht i dont travel for close to 5 hrs everyday... A few things tht also needs to be done is with my program details... get a US visa so if i wish i can go to New York n spend a weekend with Kay n shelia ma n pa (thts my second family). Will see if i can put in my papers for permanent residence as well..
There are lotta things to be done n i need to get my ass n head moving in tht direction.. its just tht i was never left so alone, i had someone or the other to eat my head, trouble me, late night phone calls or be mommy to my guys trying to figure out n help them find solutions to their issues. And now suddendly now i hv nuthing to do in life, its just me n myself n really dont hv nething in life tht i can look forward...
Between got a few good news, rachna is getting married in nov n moving to US(Ahhhh baby i m gonna miss ur wedding), Nikhil finally found a compatible physiotherapist who also now going to his better half (Nikhil i always told u kriti was the one for u, thank god atleast she asked for marriage orelse u guys wud hv spent god know how many more years just like tht), shruti - my collegue delivered a baby boy n her son looks so cute n handsome
And as for me, even i am looking forward in putting down something new fresh n refreshing things on my blog n not bicker all the time... and its not only about the blog but i need to get rolling with my life n move ahead n hv new things to life..
But in all this i hv this content feeling tht finally i hv reached toronto - FINALLY!!!
P.S. - My boys, plz stop writing me scraps, post n emails saying tht u guys miss me so much and its now difficult to meet to the other guys without me. it makes me feel bad n worse sometimes. u guys had, hv n will hv a life without me. dont make it sound like it was because of me tht we were bound in groups n used to catch up.. agreed tht all are now on jobs n tend to be lazy on weekends to get out n socialize but thts the only way u guys will remain bonded. it shudnt be tht the time i come down to mumbai tht one person is not aware wht other has been upto, for sure i cant come down n hit u guys but i will still shout over the phone... haha
LOVE YOU ALL n MISS ALL like HELL.... muuaaahhhh
Had a really great long weekend with my cuzin n bhabhi in toronto.. went to niagara falls n places aroud. Yest they left n i had a long day in school.. still trying to be frnds with peoeple n believe me there are hell lotta indians in my program. But they are not the kinds i want to be friends with...
After we dropped my cuzin at the airport yest, i left for school. I was already missing them n started missing home so badly tht i landed up calling home n spoke to my ma n pa. But this time i cudnt controll my tears. i just felt like crying all the time and i landed calling my parents then called my dadu, kaka, kaki n some close frnds(spent a like $10 on calling cards n cried on all the calls equally, i was really missing every1). I didnt come here to b all alone... so far my life had been with people who loved me n i loved, all around me. I landed questioning myself tht this not for which i have moved here.. i had put in lotta efforts, technically fought with people who were against the idea of me coming here.
Today i m more relaxed, a lil low but its all right.. i will move on... i guess from next week i am going to be really busy with school.. for sure will find some accomodation so tht i can move out from my uncle's place n be a lil close to my campus so tht i dont travel for close to 5 hrs everyday... A few things tht also needs to be done is with my program details... get a US visa so if i wish i can go to New York n spend a weekend with Kay n shelia ma n pa (thts my second family). Will see if i can put in my papers for permanent residence as well..
There are lotta things to be done n i need to get my ass n head moving in tht direction.. its just tht i was never left so alone, i had someone or the other to eat my head, trouble me, late night phone calls or be mommy to my guys trying to figure out n help them find solutions to their issues. And now suddendly now i hv nuthing to do in life, its just me n myself n really dont hv nething in life tht i can look forward...
Between got a few good news, rachna is getting married in nov n moving to US(Ahhhh baby i m gonna miss ur wedding), Nikhil finally found a compatible physiotherapist who also now going to his better half (Nikhil i always told u kriti was the one for u, thank god atleast she asked for marriage orelse u guys wud hv spent god know how many more years just like tht), shruti - my collegue delivered a baby boy n her son looks so cute n handsome
And as for me, even i am looking forward in putting down something new fresh n refreshing things on my blog n not bicker all the time... and its not only about the blog but i need to get rolling with my life n move ahead n hv new things to life..
But in all this i hv this content feeling tht finally i hv reached toronto - FINALLY!!!
P.S. - My boys, plz stop writing me scraps, post n emails saying tht u guys miss me so much and its now difficult to meet to the other guys without me. it makes me feel bad n worse sometimes. u guys had, hv n will hv a life without me. dont make it sound like it was because of me tht we were bound in groups n used to catch up.. agreed tht all are now on jobs n tend to be lazy on weekends to get out n socialize but thts the only way u guys will remain bonded. it shudnt be tht the time i come down to mumbai tht one person is not aware wht other has been upto, for sure i cant come down n hit u guys but i will still shout over the phone... haha
LOVE YOU ALL n MISS ALL like HELL.... muuaaahhhh
Aug 30, 2007
Another day...
I've been really busy since past 2 days so cudnt be online, so yest nite when i went online i see a scrap from my sis saying 'di dad wants to talk to u, hez not keeping well' - such a bitch she is to say... i became so impatient reading tht, i cudnt hv my dinner n was waiting so tht i can call them back home... finally i called spoke to every1 n everything was fine... i think tht my parents back home really arnt bothered cuz they never feel the importance or the need to call me n check if i was doing fine or whether i am missing them or not - they hv taken it for granted tht i wud surely mange myself here... may be my mistake bcoz i hv always turned out to be strong headed kinds but nevertheless - i do miss home n mum, dad n sis.
secondly, finally i manage to get a moile sim card so tht i hv total access to people thru phone but when i get back home wid the sim card - the old phone stopped working.. wow (sarcasm) - finally somehow it started working today morning... thank god..
Now I am in school since past 2 days trying to figure out how to work on my courses n get transfer credits so tht i can finish the course by Dec'08.. after running btwn 2 campuses - the international office n my dept i was so pissed cuz my program co-od refused to fuse 2 semsters together..now since it was me on the other side how cud things not happen the way i wanted... so using the so called skill or wht ppl call me a 'chalu girl' - i met my co-od n requested him to combine 2 semester with transfer credits but he refused me flat on my face - now since i knew him for past week i could figure out tht hez a nice family man n really sweet - so hear i go - the conversation
D - Allan u know wht, u will actually hv to work out something for me
A - girlie why dont u understand, i just can go n break the semesters n course patterns for u
D - but i cant take in those chemistry's again n i dont want my course to extend it to close to 2.5 yrs,
A - but u cant hv all things your way, i cant go to retirement widout being on a job
D - i'm sure there will be some way out
A - no there isnt, only way u can finish the 4 sem's are, i think u shud leave the co-op option n hv continuos 4 sem's
D - its was the co-op option i hv taken the course for. allan u dont understand. u know wht i hv planned my marriage for dec 08 n coz of u i will hv to cancel it for the second time n this time if i do so, my man will surely find another girl n u know its not tht difficult to find another girl
A - Aaaaahhhhh, there u go lady, dont worry, to me u dont seem so tht ur man will find another girl cuz u are a smart n beautiful woman unless u want another man (tht was a smart comment) but i am sure u can continue after marriage
D - but i dont want to study after marriage, n my man is not here in toronto so i cant leave him behind n come back to toronto n study... u want to seperate newly wedded couple
A - Awww, you making me feel bad... okies lemme do one thing.. leave ur student no behind i will try to play with the system n see if i can do tht for u... but thts not a promise, the system is a scheduled one, so if it doesnt work u will hv to find another way so tht ur dont hv to cancel ur wedding
D - hey Allan u know wht... u r really sweet n hv been really helpful rght since the day i hv entered the dept... i will keep my fingers crossed tht somehow the system accepts compilation of 2 fall n 2 winter sem's
A - yea will try to do tht
D - okies then, thanks for everything.. see ya on tues when classes start bbye
A - bye
No wonder naa tht there are some girls who call me a bitch or a chalu girl.. hehe haha.... i knew this trick wud work cuz every time i hv entered allan's office he has these 3 photo frames one of his family, one of his wife n one of his daughters... n it actually worked... i know it was such a bad thing to do n i got my thing done using a LIE
But the funniest thing is like, i was single, still single n dont know when am i going to hv tht some1 special n i got my self a man n a wedding planned - just to get some work done - wow... reminds me of niyati during KC days when she always used to ask me how come always ur excuses even if they are not real work n our genuine reasons are rejected.. i know she was quite jealous of me.. which also reminds me of shreya who always said, if u hv a difficult man to deal with call up D n hand over the case to her, i m sure the man will go happy n we will get our work done - n believe me it has happened so many times. i really dont know wht out of the world things i do tht she says tht but i wud only call it a TACT to deal with different people..
But between all this, being in a new country, new people n new environment, something i really need to take serioulsy is getting married... damn yaar!!! every1 in the world is either engagged or getting married n i m here this stupid girl, who doesnt even hv a temporary BF... i m a sad n boring girl.. i really think tht now GOD shud actually send in some character to handle a sample like me...
secondly, finally i manage to get a moile sim card so tht i hv total access to people thru phone but when i get back home wid the sim card - the old phone stopped working.. wow (sarcasm) - finally somehow it started working today morning... thank god..
Now I am in school since past 2 days trying to figure out how to work on my courses n get transfer credits so tht i can finish the course by Dec'08.. after running btwn 2 campuses - the international office n my dept i was so pissed cuz my program co-od refused to fuse 2 semsters together..now since it was me on the other side how cud things not happen the way i wanted... so using the so called skill or wht ppl call me a 'chalu girl' - i met my co-od n requested him to combine 2 semester with transfer credits but he refused me flat on my face - now since i knew him for past week i could figure out tht hez a nice family man n really sweet - so hear i go - the conversation
D - Allan u know wht, u will actually hv to work out something for me
A - girlie why dont u understand, i just can go n break the semesters n course patterns for u
D - but i cant take in those chemistry's again n i dont want my course to extend it to close to 2.5 yrs,
A - but u cant hv all things your way, i cant go to retirement widout being on a job
D - i'm sure there will be some way out
A - no there isnt, only way u can finish the 4 sem's are, i think u shud leave the co-op option n hv continuos 4 sem's
D - its was the co-op option i hv taken the course for. allan u dont understand. u know wht i hv planned my marriage for dec 08 n coz of u i will hv to cancel it for the second time n this time if i do so, my man will surely find another girl n u know its not tht difficult to find another girl
A - Aaaaahhhhh, there u go lady, dont worry, to me u dont seem so tht ur man will find another girl cuz u are a smart n beautiful woman unless u want another man (tht was a smart comment) but i am sure u can continue after marriage
D - but i dont want to study after marriage, n my man is not here in toronto so i cant leave him behind n come back to toronto n study... u want to seperate newly wedded couple
A - Awww, you making me feel bad... okies lemme do one thing.. leave ur student no behind i will try to play with the system n see if i can do tht for u... but thts not a promise, the system is a scheduled one, so if it doesnt work u will hv to find another way so tht ur dont hv to cancel ur wedding
D - hey Allan u know wht... u r really sweet n hv been really helpful rght since the day i hv entered the dept... i will keep my fingers crossed tht somehow the system accepts compilation of 2 fall n 2 winter sem's
A - yea will try to do tht
D - okies then, thanks for everything.. see ya on tues when classes start bbye
A - bye
No wonder naa tht there are some girls who call me a bitch or a chalu girl.. hehe haha.... i knew this trick wud work cuz every time i hv entered allan's office he has these 3 photo frames one of his family, one of his wife n one of his daughters... n it actually worked... i know it was such a bad thing to do n i got my thing done using a LIE
But the funniest thing is like, i was single, still single n dont know when am i going to hv tht some1 special n i got my self a man n a wedding planned - just to get some work done - wow... reminds me of niyati during KC days when she always used to ask me how come always ur excuses even if they are not real work n our genuine reasons are rejected.. i know she was quite jealous of me.. which also reminds me of shreya who always said, if u hv a difficult man to deal with call up D n hand over the case to her, i m sure the man will go happy n we will get our work done - n believe me it has happened so many times. i really dont know wht out of the world things i do tht she says tht but i wud only call it a TACT to deal with different people..
But between all this, being in a new country, new people n new environment, something i really need to take serioulsy is getting married... damn yaar!!! every1 in the world is either engagged or getting married n i m here this stupid girl, who doesnt even hv a temporary BF... i m a sad n boring girl.. i really think tht now GOD shud actually send in some character to handle a sample like me...
Aug 20, 2007
In Toronto
I landed here in Toronto on 15th Aug n reached home at 10 after long 32 hrs flight… not an exciting trip coz I had to take a preponed flight from Mumbai to Delhi at 2 instead of a 3.40 am flight which got delayed so tht I cud take the connecting flight to Toronto frm there… so btwn tht hush hush hardly had enuff time to say last min bye bye to my extended family n frnds who all were present my place. I got a call at 9.30 tht I had to take an earlier flight n since reporting time is 3 hrs we just left home the moment we finished the call… it was good in a sense tht since every1 started moving around fast so nobody thought n had time to cry n be sentimental n make me cry while I was leaving.. finally I boarded the flight with flight delay n stuff.. finally I reach Toronto n see tht outta 3 bags one was missing n then I had to wait n claim for my missing baggage n then finally came outta the airport to see wht Toronto looked like in the night.. within 15 mins frm airport I was to a new home… Didn’t feel great at all.
A new morning a new day in a new land.. just relaxed n chilled n stayed at home.. a big house with hardly ne ppl on roads, only things I could see was cars n theno was nothing to wht I hv seen in traffic in mumbai…the next day we went to square one for a visit which is a shopping zone really close to my place…. Just being inside the mall didn’t give me a feeling tht I was in a new land n in a new culture, why because I guess it’s the Mumbai lifestyle tht I hv been in tht didn’t surprise or excite me… even the shopping wasn’t much different in terms of products n style neither the price (don’t covert rupees to dollars then everything in the world wil b really expensive) – the only diff I found was it was much organized as compared to india. Really didn’t matter being among the phirangs cuz I guess I hv been dealing with quite a lot in past few months while I was working so was really comfortable.
Another day passed by just moving around. Today I went to my school n got myself registered. What a huge n lovely campus, such jovial atmoshphere. Here I could see the diff f being in Canada n being in India. The staff was so cooperative n jovial. Always smling n ready to give answers n help while back home the attitude was who cares, students will find their way out… waiting to start my classes soon..
I really hvnt been getting sleep for quite a few days here.. not tht I m not liking it or I m missing home but don’t know why. I guess I felt I m staying at wrong place wid wrong people… with m uncle n aunt giving advice all the time n being too much conservative n protective… I m seriously hv never been used to my parents being so… I was always left on my own n had a right to make my own choice n options n only was given suggestions.. here I guess they r diff, very diff frm my mum n dad. I really don’t like ppl giving me advice all the time n to be told wht needs to be done… damn yaar I m not a small girl neither do I come from some downtrodden village.. I come frm Mumbai living my life on my terms n making all choices according to my flexibility… I think I wud not be able to survive wid them for many days…
So whts next on cards ??? I hv a busy next week with orientations n rakhi coming up… my cuzin flying down from NYC so will hv a good long labour weekend, will visit niagra n other places in Toronto with them… after tht I will start with my school n hunt for accommodation n try to move out as soon as possible b4 actual winter can set in…. I know tht I hv not come to this place to be with my extended family n try to cook for them all the while n do all household work.. if I wanted to do so wud hv got married n settled easily.. I m here to get a good career for myself, some time n space for myself cuz I had to move on frm the past for new beginning n new goals n new people in life. Not tht I don’t want or need the people I hv left behind but its also important that you move on n ahead in life creating memories which when u look back brings a smile on ur face…. Trust me I had oodles of smile when I think bout the times n my darling loving ppl I hv left behind…. Ppl I really miss – mum for not hving her shouting n cribbing all the time, dad for getting icecreams , Arjun, Nikhil n Aayush for those big warm hugs n many many more.. the list is endless… but there are times you always reconnect…
There lots I want to write but don’t wht all n how to write so will end here… next update will soon go the cyberspace…
I landed here in Toronto on 15th Aug n reached home at 10 after long 32 hrs flight… not an exciting trip coz I had to take a preponed flight from Mumbai to Delhi at 2 instead of a 3.40 am flight which got delayed so tht I cud take the connecting flight to Toronto frm there… so btwn tht hush hush hardly had enuff time to say last min bye bye to my extended family n frnds who all were present my place. I got a call at 9.30 tht I had to take an earlier flight n since reporting time is 3 hrs we just left home the moment we finished the call… it was good in a sense tht since every1 started moving around fast so nobody thought n had time to cry n be sentimental n make me cry while I was leaving.. finally I boarded the flight with flight delay n stuff.. finally I reach Toronto n see tht outta 3 bags one was missing n then I had to wait n claim for my missing baggage n then finally came outta the airport to see wht Toronto looked like in the night.. within 15 mins frm airport I was to a new home… Didn’t feel great at all.
A new morning a new day in a new land.. just relaxed n chilled n stayed at home.. a big house with hardly ne ppl on roads, only things I could see was cars n theno was nothing to wht I hv seen in traffic in mumbai…the next day we went to square one for a visit which is a shopping zone really close to my place…. Just being inside the mall didn’t give me a feeling tht I was in a new land n in a new culture, why because I guess it’s the Mumbai lifestyle tht I hv been in tht didn’t surprise or excite me… even the shopping wasn’t much different in terms of products n style neither the price (don’t covert rupees to dollars then everything in the world wil b really expensive) – the only diff I found was it was much organized as compared to india. Really didn’t matter being among the phirangs cuz I guess I hv been dealing with quite a lot in past few months while I was working so was really comfortable.
Another day passed by just moving around. Today I went to my school n got myself registered. What a huge n lovely campus, such jovial atmoshphere. Here I could see the diff f being in Canada n being in India. The staff was so cooperative n jovial. Always smling n ready to give answers n help while back home the attitude was who cares, students will find their way out… waiting to start my classes soon..
I really hvnt been getting sleep for quite a few days here.. not tht I m not liking it or I m missing home but don’t know why. I guess I felt I m staying at wrong place wid wrong people… with m uncle n aunt giving advice all the time n being too much conservative n protective… I m seriously hv never been used to my parents being so… I was always left on my own n had a right to make my own choice n options n only was given suggestions.. here I guess they r diff, very diff frm my mum n dad. I really don’t like ppl giving me advice all the time n to be told wht needs to be done… damn yaar I m not a small girl neither do I come from some downtrodden village.. I come frm Mumbai living my life on my terms n making all choices according to my flexibility… I think I wud not be able to survive wid them for many days…
So whts next on cards ??? I hv a busy next week with orientations n rakhi coming up… my cuzin flying down from NYC so will hv a good long labour weekend, will visit niagra n other places in Toronto with them… after tht I will start with my school n hunt for accommodation n try to move out as soon as possible b4 actual winter can set in…. I know tht I hv not come to this place to be with my extended family n try to cook for them all the while n do all household work.. if I wanted to do so wud hv got married n settled easily.. I m here to get a good career for myself, some time n space for myself cuz I had to move on frm the past for new beginning n new goals n new people in life. Not tht I don’t want or need the people I hv left behind but its also important that you move on n ahead in life creating memories which when u look back brings a smile on ur face…. Trust me I had oodles of smile when I think bout the times n my darling loving ppl I hv left behind…. Ppl I really miss – mum for not hving her shouting n cribbing all the time, dad for getting icecreams , Arjun, Nikhil n Aayush for those big warm hugs n many many more.. the list is endless… but there are times you always reconnect…
There lots I want to write but don’t wht all n how to write so will end here… next update will soon go the cyberspace…
Aug 6, 2007
What a full-on Family I’m blessed with !!!!
A time I will always love to look back to...
Its been a long time that I actually had a great time socializing with my ‘khandan’. I had to quote tht word bcoz its been really really long that I actually went to a social gathering n interacted with my very big extended family coz of various reasons.
Sat & Sun was actually a kind of a farewell party time for me, and believe me I was so not excited with the fact that people were actually goin to come together. Reason – I am the eldest in the ‘khandan’ n I am perceived to be the kinda perfect girl – “dayi chokri”- LOL ask my mum n frnds.
I thought tht they wud all talk emotional stuff n some kinda rona dhona, but to my surprise, they were totally fun filled evenings. Damn, I actually thought for a while weather they were old or within my age group ( sorry – they refuse to call themselves old – though most of them are between 55 – 70 – ahhh such a young crowd – yea definitely at heart). Bon Voyage cards n gifts n lotta money was given to me.
Okies during those evening there were kinda teams, the older lot which included the dada dadi’s n kaka kaki’s n all, the men, the women and me n a chachu - he doest like me call him kaka coz hez just in his early 30’s but since hez my dad’s cuzin I said I will call him chachu.
Discussion 1 – My accommodation – great ideas came out right from staying in a dorm to a rented apartment to the fact guys n girls sharing an apartment to the extent that chachu said if I land up liking a guy n if i want i can move into a Live in Relationship – n conducted a poll if ne1 had a prob wid it – though there was silence for a couple of seconds n then kaka dadu (my dad’s uncle) gave in his word that I better tell them n then move in rather then moving in widout they being unaware coz definitely no one has time n interested in spying on me… hahahaha – now I see they are good at handling things... no wonder we have managed to have Christian, south Indian and a maharashtrian bahu’s in our family…. I have to appreciate the sporting spirit… even I don’t know if I would want to go in for a Live in Relationship
Discussion 2 – Time span I’m gonna spend in Canada – it was unanimous that they don’t want me back… every1 was like they are not interested in having me back.. wow tht was so mean. My mum said come for 2-3 weeks, visit us n go back…
Discussion 3 – Food – After all we are gujrati’s so food is inseparable. Sometimes I wonder whether they eat to live or live to eat. Hehe… But then since I am a facultative non vegeterain so every1 was like I shud start eating everything, I was amazed tht personally I wud never want to eat beef n pork but chachu is like Greek n Lebanese cuisine is awesome. I was startled listening to it. So he goes like if u r not comfortable just ask some1 to order for u widout asking whts in it n just eat it, u will enjoy it. I shud believe if he sayz tht cuz we both share same kind of taste buds.
Discussion 4 – Social life n circle – The only advice n the only person who spoke on this was chachu n said – if you wanna go n make Indian frnds n be among desi’s thn u r better here. So move out n make frnds from different cultures, it’s a wonderful experience to have them around.
Discussion 5 – Guys n Marriage – interestingly it was the shortest discussion n only the ladies spoke. First my mum said, even here u were all the time wid guys so if I find u doing the same I will not be surprised. The aunties said, find a nice guy whose compatible n preferably an Indian. Secondly they said u don’t even need to come down here to get married, just get married n come here we’ll throw a party n reception for u guys. That was the end of discussion.
Wow, wow, wow.. tht was my feeling at the end of my weekend. Kinda of discussions I never expected them n their outlook to be of this kind n they have always surprised me with their attitude all thru my life. Wonderful feeling cuz u r not going to leave wid lot of unwanted advices n suggestions.
The only funniest thing was every1 though that I was 21, so when chachi said “arre aji toh tu 21 varas ni che, bo time che, maja kari le” n I said “chachi wake up, I m 23” everyone got a reality check tht I am not that young so it makes me feel more than happy that within gujrati’s 23 = 25 n would only think bout getting the girl married, my family (my mum, dad n dadu) happily widout ne inhibitions, second thoughts stood by my call to go out. So I m proud of my a lil diff n weird family..
Love ya all so much.I will really miss you all.. cheers
Its been a long time that I actually had a great time socializing with my ‘khandan’. I had to quote tht word bcoz its been really really long that I actually went to a social gathering n interacted with my very big extended family coz of various reasons.
Sat & Sun was actually a kind of a farewell party time for me, and believe me I was so not excited with the fact that people were actually goin to come together. Reason – I am the eldest in the ‘khandan’ n I am perceived to be the kinda perfect girl – “dayi chokri”- LOL ask my mum n frnds.
I thought tht they wud all talk emotional stuff n some kinda rona dhona, but to my surprise, they were totally fun filled evenings. Damn, I actually thought for a while weather they were old or within my age group ( sorry – they refuse to call themselves old – though most of them are between 55 – 70 – ahhh such a young crowd – yea definitely at heart). Bon Voyage cards n gifts n lotta money was given to me.
Okies during those evening there were kinda teams, the older lot which included the dada dadi’s n kaka kaki’s n all, the men, the women and me n a chachu - he doest like me call him kaka coz hez just in his early 30’s but since hez my dad’s cuzin I said I will call him chachu.
Discussion 1 – My accommodation – great ideas came out right from staying in a dorm to a rented apartment to the fact guys n girls sharing an apartment to the extent that chachu said if I land up liking a guy n if i want i can move into a Live in Relationship – n conducted a poll if ne1 had a prob wid it – though there was silence for a couple of seconds n then kaka dadu (my dad’s uncle) gave in his word that I better tell them n then move in rather then moving in widout they being unaware coz definitely no one has time n interested in spying on me… hahahaha – now I see they are good at handling things... no wonder we have managed to have Christian, south Indian and a maharashtrian bahu’s in our family…. I have to appreciate the sporting spirit… even I don’t know if I would want to go in for a Live in Relationship
Discussion 2 – Time span I’m gonna spend in Canada – it was unanimous that they don’t want me back… every1 was like they are not interested in having me back.. wow tht was so mean. My mum said come for 2-3 weeks, visit us n go back…
Discussion 3 – Food – After all we are gujrati’s so food is inseparable. Sometimes I wonder whether they eat to live or live to eat. Hehe… But then since I am a facultative non vegeterain so every1 was like I shud start eating everything, I was amazed tht personally I wud never want to eat beef n pork but chachu is like Greek n Lebanese cuisine is awesome. I was startled listening to it. So he goes like if u r not comfortable just ask some1 to order for u widout asking whts in it n just eat it, u will enjoy it. I shud believe if he sayz tht cuz we both share same kind of taste buds.
Discussion 4 – Social life n circle – The only advice n the only person who spoke on this was chachu n said – if you wanna go n make Indian frnds n be among desi’s thn u r better here. So move out n make frnds from different cultures, it’s a wonderful experience to have them around.
Discussion 5 – Guys n Marriage – interestingly it was the shortest discussion n only the ladies spoke. First my mum said, even here u were all the time wid guys so if I find u doing the same I will not be surprised. The aunties said, find a nice guy whose compatible n preferably an Indian. Secondly they said u don’t even need to come down here to get married, just get married n come here we’ll throw a party n reception for u guys. That was the end of discussion.
Wow, wow, wow.. tht was my feeling at the end of my weekend. Kinda of discussions I never expected them n their outlook to be of this kind n they have always surprised me with their attitude all thru my life. Wonderful feeling cuz u r not going to leave wid lot of unwanted advices n suggestions.
The only funniest thing was every1 though that I was 21, so when chachi said “arre aji toh tu 21 varas ni che, bo time che, maja kari le” n I said “chachi wake up, I m 23” everyone got a reality check tht I am not that young so it makes me feel more than happy that within gujrati’s 23 = 25 n would only think bout getting the girl married, my family (my mum, dad n dadu) happily widout ne inhibitions, second thoughts stood by my call to go out. So I m proud of my a lil diff n weird family..
Love ya all so much.I will really miss you all.. cheers
Jul 20, 2007
It was my B’day
It wasn’t like every yr, coz I wud be all geared up for my bday a week b4 n this time a day b4 i didnt even realize where my day went. Though I guess this yr ppl were all charged up to wish me at midnight, they landed up calling me b4 12 so technically I was attending calls of ppl wishing me happy bday to be precise from 18th July 11.45 pm till 19th July 2.35am. Like every year the war btwn Nikita, Janavi n Karan (though hez never the one competing) as on who wishes me the first Janavi called 10 mins b4 n didn’t hung up the call till 12, Kay called on the landline sharp at 12 n Nikki trying to call on either lines cudnt make it at 12.. hehe haha (she never won in this in pst 8 yrs, though makes a genuine effort every year). The other smarties i.e. Kunal, Vaibhav, Shreyang, Shruti, Vanshika, Tapan jiju n Sheetal Di all on a conference call wished me all together, tht was good fun.
I was damn tired, tht really was not in the mood to attend calls but since every1 had put in an effort to stay up late atleast who were in India to wish me so half in sleep I attended the calls. Then comes the morning n mum wakes me up at like 6.30 am don’t even remem y did she wake me n then I don’t get sleep once I m up so again by 7, I was on calls and opening the door n flowers n cakes kept flowing in..
I hv to thank all those guys sitting in the USA & Australia and its been years tht I get my gifts (they were quite interesting this yr), bunch of roses(they are my fav, brings a smile on my face ne time I get them frm whoever) n my fav cake delivered to me n made it so special every year… this time cudnt plunge on the cake coz it was a Thursday n my fast so cudnt eat the cake yest, n the dark devil dutch chocolate cake n black forest both had the common tag line like every yr “ Happy birthday to D = DEVIL = Darshita”. I hv 3 kgs of cake at my place n I m going to eat it all n I don’t mind the calories because it was sent with lots of love !!!
All my frnds they are quite in good number were disappointed coz I cudnt meet ne1 coz I had promised my family ppl tht will spend my day with them n being a grl of my word did the same. But all in all not a happening n rocking day but was filled with lotta good wishes n blessing from elders n lot of love frm yonger ones, a very contending day..
N yea for being from a gujrati family 23 = 25, so wid it came in lotta advices n suggestions n do’d n don’t’s hehehe hahaha.. some interesting things and very appealing n out of the box kinda advice were given… I hv rocking ppl in my family.. cheers to them.
I was damn tired, tht really was not in the mood to attend calls but since every1 had put in an effort to stay up late atleast who were in India to wish me so half in sleep I attended the calls. Then comes the morning n mum wakes me up at like 6.30 am don’t even remem y did she wake me n then I don’t get sleep once I m up so again by 7, I was on calls and opening the door n flowers n cakes kept flowing in..
I hv to thank all those guys sitting in the USA & Australia and its been years tht I get my gifts (they were quite interesting this yr), bunch of roses(they are my fav, brings a smile on my face ne time I get them frm whoever) n my fav cake delivered to me n made it so special every year… this time cudnt plunge on the cake coz it was a Thursday n my fast so cudnt eat the cake yest, n the dark devil dutch chocolate cake n black forest both had the common tag line like every yr “ Happy birthday to D = DEVIL = Darshita”. I hv 3 kgs of cake at my place n I m going to eat it all n I don’t mind the calories because it was sent with lots of love !!!
All my frnds they are quite in good number were disappointed coz I cudnt meet ne1 coz I had promised my family ppl tht will spend my day with them n being a grl of my word did the same. But all in all not a happening n rocking day but was filled with lotta good wishes n blessing from elders n lot of love frm yonger ones, a very contending day..
N yea for being from a gujrati family 23 = 25, so wid it came in lotta advices n suggestions n do’d n don’t’s hehehe hahaha.. some interesting things and very appealing n out of the box kinda advice were given… I hv rocking ppl in my family.. cheers to them.
Jul 4, 2007
Again its JULY…
Since Friday I was feeling really sad n low. I just had this strange thing that I was missing something in life and didn’t know y was I feeling so. I told this to few of my frnds, and they got worried and kept pestering me to tell them wht was wrong, but I kept telling them I really didn’t know wht was wrong. They kept asking me so many times tht I switched off my phone n told them the phone stopped working coz it got wet in the rain. I still hvnt spoken to ne1 and its now 5 days n my phone is still switched off…
Did I tell them the truth????
Nopes…. I really knew wht was wrong wid me n wht I was missing so much…. Y am I always in a self-denial mode????
Today reminds of July ’02 – for the first time when I decided to move towards something I badly wanted in my life. This feeling spontaneously awakened the so called writer/poet withing me. I started writing small thoughtful articles n poems in hindi which eventually led me to write everyday… God knows how much I used to write, the moment I had even like 5 mins of free time I used to sit wid my dairy and keep writing. I have a collection of 8 diaries all filled with writings in HINDI (one is with nikki which she stole, so total 9). Something I was really possessive about n till today no1 is allowed to neither read them nor even touch them.
Then came Dec ’02, in just 6 months reality struck me really hard and there I was all scattered around in lil pieces which were so difficult to gather. I was still gathering the scattered pieces even after 5 years until today. I remem tht nite when I controlled my tears till every1 went to sleep n then I locked myself in the kitchen n cried all thru the nite. When I woke up in the morning my eyes were really badly swollen with puffiness n my mum dad thought tht I had got an eye infection unaware of the nite tht passed by was a really long n a bad one.
It was a big challenge for me to gather myself at tht point of time widout letting my family know wht I had been thru. I had none of my frnds around, I had to do it all by myself. At so many times I felt tht I wanted to hug them n cry myself out but was unable to do tht. It took really really long for me to recover. The biggest thing tht I feared and I still fear is myself n my emotions. I dint realize tht I stopped accepting my feeling. Thts y I say I was in a self denial mode. I had locked myself somewhere deep within my heart.
I lost myself being DARSHITA – the arrogant, shrud, sarcastic, bitchy, fussy, strict, selfish gal & TASHI – the stupid, idiot emotional fool who used to move one with a simple kind gesture. I was totally lost being one of the two and forgot tht ME was a good and right mix of both of them.
Today after 5 yrs, mnth of JULY – while I was solving my sis’s math’s problems, AGAIN a few words came to my mind and I penned them down till I finished it. To what I read tht I had written – don’t know, but it sounded a kind of a message to me. I just went in a sound silent thought. Again I cried locking myself in the room after reading wht I had written. But this time it was for good. I just felt I found all the scattered lil pieces n I was once again the same old gal.
The next thing I did was removed all those diaries and even without opening them once I went n threw them in guttar. Aaahhhh but it dint hurt me at all while doing this n it surprised me in it itself. My mum, dad n my sis were shocked to see tht I actually threw them off. Hehehe hahaha
Today I’m so much relaxed, gathered and all collected very much open in my mind. I have set new goals for myself and will move ahead with them. Wow.. after so long I m feeling so light at heart and head….
It’s been like Lost and Found… Yippee.. cheers
Did I tell them the truth????
Nopes…. I really knew wht was wrong wid me n wht I was missing so much…. Y am I always in a self-denial mode????
Today reminds of July ’02 – for the first time when I decided to move towards something I badly wanted in my life. This feeling spontaneously awakened the so called writer/poet withing me. I started writing small thoughtful articles n poems in hindi which eventually led me to write everyday… God knows how much I used to write, the moment I had even like 5 mins of free time I used to sit wid my dairy and keep writing. I have a collection of 8 diaries all filled with writings in HINDI (one is with nikki which she stole, so total 9). Something I was really possessive about n till today no1 is allowed to neither read them nor even touch them.
Then came Dec ’02, in just 6 months reality struck me really hard and there I was all scattered around in lil pieces which were so difficult to gather. I was still gathering the scattered pieces even after 5 years until today. I remem tht nite when I controlled my tears till every1 went to sleep n then I locked myself in the kitchen n cried all thru the nite. When I woke up in the morning my eyes were really badly swollen with puffiness n my mum dad thought tht I had got an eye infection unaware of the nite tht passed by was a really long n a bad one.
It was a big challenge for me to gather myself at tht point of time widout letting my family know wht I had been thru. I had none of my frnds around, I had to do it all by myself. At so many times I felt tht I wanted to hug them n cry myself out but was unable to do tht. It took really really long for me to recover. The biggest thing tht I feared and I still fear is myself n my emotions. I dint realize tht I stopped accepting my feeling. Thts y I say I was in a self denial mode. I had locked myself somewhere deep within my heart.
I lost myself being DARSHITA – the arrogant, shrud, sarcastic, bitchy, fussy, strict, selfish gal & TASHI – the stupid, idiot emotional fool who used to move one with a simple kind gesture. I was totally lost being one of the two and forgot tht ME was a good and right mix of both of them.
Today after 5 yrs, mnth of JULY – while I was solving my sis’s math’s problems, AGAIN a few words came to my mind and I penned them down till I finished it. To what I read tht I had written – don’t know, but it sounded a kind of a message to me. I just went in a sound silent thought. Again I cried locking myself in the room after reading wht I had written. But this time it was for good. I just felt I found all the scattered lil pieces n I was once again the same old gal.
The next thing I did was removed all those diaries and even without opening them once I went n threw them in guttar. Aaahhhh but it dint hurt me at all while doing this n it surprised me in it itself. My mum, dad n my sis were shocked to see tht I actually threw them off. Hehehe hahaha
Today I’m so much relaxed, gathered and all collected very much open in my mind. I have set new goals for myself and will move ahead with them. Wow.. after so long I m feeling so light at heart and head….
It’s been like Lost and Found… Yippee.. cheers
Jun 29, 2007
June – coming to an end…
There’s nothing great to be spoken about this month except it has been the worst period of my entire life so far. A time when my mind was wandering all over, though things were right in front of me but I couldn’t grab them. I had so many questions rather still have them but no answers. Something which is not me and the last thing that I would want to do in life is to WAIT & WATCH – and I did that all this month and in all respect, whether it was work, my career or my personal life. Everything on a hold.
I don’t expect things neither from life nor from people because expecting things have always led me to disappointments and that’s what happened even this time. So I always want to move on making things work – whtever it is.
Finally Kay is back home after his long work trip to Moscow and has a long weekend to spend at home. It feels so nice to spill my head on him and he does the same (I don’t think that ne other frnd in my life would be able to take his place). In eight years of our friendship I don’t remember if we’ve spoken over the phone for so long as much as we did today… 3 hrs n 25 mins.. oo gosh !!
We spoke bout ourselves, our lives, our priorities, work, career n god knows wht not, we did bitch about a few people. I feel that we strike the same chord as far as our thoughts go on certain matters. Btwn all three of us, I’ve realized that me n Niki have had a parallel life as far as academic or professional front was concerned & for me and Kay its been our personal lives. I have started believing that Nikki is right to a certain extend to the fact that ‘moving on’ is not difficult to me n Kay but we just don’t let things go and love to hold on to them (yea but that’s the way we like, 2 poor souls).
Kay is badly stuck btwn his past and his future and I hv nothing interesting in the past to look back and really am not bothered what’s there for future. Kay’s questions are too complicated for me to give him any kind of answers because both the sides of his coin r equal in their own respect. As far as my questions go, I guess very soon I am going to have answers to them (most of them…) n thts for sure, so I am not much worried. And Niki – wht to say bout her, shez just hving the perfect life, done with her MS, having a good vacation here in India, get back to England, get onto a job, take a look at the guys her parents hv found, give them a try, pick one and get married. So by coming Feb we are definitely attending Niki’s wedding.
I really wonder for how long me n Kay r going to stay like lost souls. As far as I am concerned I guess I have 2 roads with different lanes on each of them. In like another couple of days I will come to know wht road life has chosen for me and then will walk ahead through them. Things don’t look that bad, n hoping that they won’t be. In another 25 hrs its will be a start of my b’day month - JULY and it has always been good for me all these years.
Hope all the WAIT & WATCH mode comes to an end soon and I get moving towards things I want them to be a part of my life.
Lastly Nik’s for wht you’ve been saying since past couple of days tht u can never catch water and harder u hold on to the sand in your palms its slips of… But Darling therz another side to it n even thts a fact – agreed u can never catch water but every attempt to hold it or catch it leaves your hand wet and it happens every time u try to do it. And secondly harder you hold onto the sand its definitely slips of but more n more sand particles stick to your hand, so every time u hold a handful of sand tightly u have lot of sand particles stuck to your palm, you collect those particles and in some time you will definitely have a handful of sand… its bout looking at the half glass full…in both the cases you are definitely gaining something… isn’t tht worth or sufficient reason for trying or giving it a shot…
I don’t expect things neither from life nor from people because expecting things have always led me to disappointments and that’s what happened even this time. So I always want to move on making things work – whtever it is.
Finally Kay is back home after his long work trip to Moscow and has a long weekend to spend at home. It feels so nice to spill my head on him and he does the same (I don’t think that ne other frnd in my life would be able to take his place). In eight years of our friendship I don’t remember if we’ve spoken over the phone for so long as much as we did today… 3 hrs n 25 mins.. oo gosh !!
We spoke bout ourselves, our lives, our priorities, work, career n god knows wht not, we did bitch about a few people. I feel that we strike the same chord as far as our thoughts go on certain matters. Btwn all three of us, I’ve realized that me n Niki have had a parallel life as far as academic or professional front was concerned & for me and Kay its been our personal lives. I have started believing that Nikki is right to a certain extend to the fact that ‘moving on’ is not difficult to me n Kay but we just don’t let things go and love to hold on to them (yea but that’s the way we like, 2 poor souls).
Kay is badly stuck btwn his past and his future and I hv nothing interesting in the past to look back and really am not bothered what’s there for future. Kay’s questions are too complicated for me to give him any kind of answers because both the sides of his coin r equal in their own respect. As far as my questions go, I guess very soon I am going to have answers to them (most of them…) n thts for sure, so I am not much worried. And Niki – wht to say bout her, shez just hving the perfect life, done with her MS, having a good vacation here in India, get back to England, get onto a job, take a look at the guys her parents hv found, give them a try, pick one and get married. So by coming Feb we are definitely attending Niki’s wedding.
I really wonder for how long me n Kay r going to stay like lost souls. As far as I am concerned I guess I have 2 roads with different lanes on each of them. In like another couple of days I will come to know wht road life has chosen for me and then will walk ahead through them. Things don’t look that bad, n hoping that they won’t be. In another 25 hrs its will be a start of my b’day month - JULY and it has always been good for me all these years.
Hope all the WAIT & WATCH mode comes to an end soon and I get moving towards things I want them to be a part of my life.
Lastly Nik’s for wht you’ve been saying since past couple of days tht u can never catch water and harder u hold on to the sand in your palms its slips of… But Darling therz another side to it n even thts a fact – agreed u can never catch water but every attempt to hold it or catch it leaves your hand wet and it happens every time u try to do it. And secondly harder you hold onto the sand its definitely slips of but more n more sand particles stick to your hand, so every time u hold a handful of sand tightly u have lot of sand particles stuck to your palm, you collect those particles and in some time you will definitely have a handful of sand… its bout looking at the half glass full…in both the cases you are definitely gaining something… isn’t tht worth or sufficient reason for trying or giving it a shot…
Jun 23, 2007
Within Me
Scarlet lips as red as a rose,
perfect hips in a seductive pose.
On the outside this is what people want me to be,
but what about looking at the heart within me.
Long black hair, surrounding my face,
baby blue eyes and full of grace.
This is what most men chase,
but my soul and feelings cannot be erased.
Long, untouched legs with a snug fitting skirt,
a short and sexy tube top shirt,
I would take my looks with little pride,
for what I care about is what's inside.
They say that these looks are a sensation,
that I am one of God's best creations,
But all I really want is for you to see,
all the good that is within me.
perfect hips in a seductive pose.
On the outside this is what people want me to be,
but what about looking at the heart within me.
Long black hair, surrounding my face,
baby blue eyes and full of grace.
This is what most men chase,
but my soul and feelings cannot be erased.
Long, untouched legs with a snug fitting skirt,
a short and sexy tube top shirt,
I would take my looks with little pride,
for what I care about is what's inside.
They say that these looks are a sensation,
that I am one of God's best creations,
But all I really want is for you to see,
all the good that is within me.
Jun 21, 2007
I’m just a Woman…
A woman needs to be assured
In each and every way,
She needs the warmth of loving words
That only you can say.
She needs a lot of understanding …
When she’s feeling somewhat down.
She needs for you to make her smile,
And take away her frown.
A woman’s heart is fragile
Her feelings are that way too,
Times she feels so sad inside,
Not knowing what to do.
It’s hard to be a woman,
Misunderstood in many ways,
Sometimes all it takes to help,
Is a loving word, to make her day.
She needs to know that she’s the one,
That fills your heart with desire,
She needs to be told often,
That she sets your soul on fire.
She needs that soft and tender touch
As if she were a fragile rose,
And feel that she’s so special.
From all others, you could have chose.
She needs to hear, “I Love you”,
Whether close or miles apart,
She needs to know… she’s the one,
That’s the center of your heart.
So, please listen when I need to talk,
Please kiss away my tears,
Let me share my worries with you,
And help me face my fears.
You see, I’m just a woman.
In each and every way,
She needs the warmth of loving words
That only you can say.
She needs a lot of understanding …
When she’s feeling somewhat down.
She needs for you to make her smile,
And take away her frown.
A woman’s heart is fragile
Her feelings are that way too,
Times she feels so sad inside,
Not knowing what to do.
It’s hard to be a woman,
Misunderstood in many ways,
Sometimes all it takes to help,
Is a loving word, to make her day.
She needs to know that she’s the one,
That fills your heart with desire,
She needs to be told often,
That she sets your soul on fire.
She needs that soft and tender touch
As if she were a fragile rose,
And feel that she’s so special.
From all others, you could have chose.
She needs to hear, “I Love you”,
Whether close or miles apart,
She needs to know… she’s the one,
That’s the center of your heart.
So, please listen when I need to talk,
Please kiss away my tears,
Let me share my worries with you,
And help me face my fears.
You see, I’m just a woman.
Jun 19, 2007
Three Things...
Three things in life that, once gone,
NEVER come back
Time
Words
Opportunity
Three things in life that may never be lost
Peace
Hope
Honesty
Three things in life those are most valuable
Love
Self - Confidence
Friends
Three things in life those are never certain
Dreams
Success
Fortune
Three things that make a man/woman
Hardwork
Sincerity
Commitment
Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman
Alcohol
Pride
Anger
Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up
Respect
Trust
Friends
Three things in life that never fail
True Love
Determination
Belief
NEVER come back
Time
Words
Opportunity
Three things in life that may never be lost
Peace
Hope
Honesty
Three things in life those are most valuable
Love
Self - Confidence
Friends
Three things in life those are never certain
Dreams
Success
Fortune
Three things that make a man/woman
Hardwork
Sincerity
Commitment
Three things in life that can destroy a man/woman
Alcohol
Pride
Anger
Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up
Respect
Trust
Friends
Three things in life that never fail
True Love
Determination
Belief
Silence Speaks a Thousand Words
When I asked you,
You said nothing was wrong.
But when I listened to your magical song,
All its notes were gone.
You sang it… I heard,
Silence speaks a thousand words.
You keep telling me, I’ll pay the price
For asking you once and telling you twice.
But I paid heavily,
The day your emotions turned cold,
Silence speaks a thousand words.
Where do I turn when you turn away?
Its never just the things you say.
You never put me down,
But when I speak you turn around,
And not saying much is saying a lot.
If you spoke the truth, there’d be no doubt,
But your only words are, “we’ll work it out.”
Well, that’s not saying much,
You just don’t give your time,
And that’s where I draw the line.
You’re sending signals,
First of hope, then of insecurity.
Signals of doubt are everywhere and
Subconsciously….
You know you wanna break the ties,
But you use silence, you use lies,
Don’t worry, I’ll return your song of silence,
For silence speaks a thousand words.
Finally Nikki is in Mumbai… she gave me a nice surprise when I reached lonavala and now we are together after 6 months.
I really don’t know how many people actually believe and can read n understand silence but as far as we are concerned we talk the language of silence… I know people who know us wud laugh coz we both are extremely talkative.. Total chatter box.
But another side to us tht most of them don’t know…our silence… for us silence is a state when eyes speak more n heart starts listening and life seems to be more exciting when some1 start reading ur eyes silently. A person, who truly knows u, is some1 who sees pain in ur eyes, while everyone else still believes in the on ur face. It’s been two days tht we are together but lot of things hv been said with silence.
Though lonavala was not much fun coz it was really warm n no rains so we decided to get back today itself and are Nikki’s place. Mumbai’s weather is just perfect. We hv been sitting on the terrace getting wet in the rain…. The dialogue really fits in well “main aur meri tanhai aksar baat kiya karte hain”… hehe
For us, Silence has lot to it, it’s the only expression which has wht some people called emotions, feelings, actions, words rather most of the abstract nouns. I consider silence to be really strong coz only in its presence u get to discover urself, gives u answers to lotta question, is the best answer when u don’t want to answer questions. It depicts strong emotions like anger, love, hatred, jealously, fear, grief. It’s in silence tht ur head n heart are most active, give u ur space to reach out to urself.
Silence definitely speaks a thousand words and silence is more powerful then words who understand the silence!!!!
I just heard Nikki saying to this word silence – “Toofan aane se pehle aksar khamoshi aur shanti hoti hain” – we gals are too filmy naa
You said nothing was wrong.
But when I listened to your magical song,
All its notes were gone.
You sang it… I heard,
Silence speaks a thousand words.
You keep telling me, I’ll pay the price
For asking you once and telling you twice.
But I paid heavily,
The day your emotions turned cold,
Silence speaks a thousand words.
Where do I turn when you turn away?
Its never just the things you say.
You never put me down,
But when I speak you turn around,
And not saying much is saying a lot.
If you spoke the truth, there’d be no doubt,
But your only words are, “we’ll work it out.”
Well, that’s not saying much,
You just don’t give your time,
And that’s where I draw the line.
You’re sending signals,
First of hope, then of insecurity.
Signals of doubt are everywhere and
Subconsciously….
You know you wanna break the ties,
But you use silence, you use lies,
Don’t worry, I’ll return your song of silence,
For silence speaks a thousand words.
Finally Nikki is in Mumbai… she gave me a nice surprise when I reached lonavala and now we are together after 6 months.
I really don’t know how many people actually believe and can read n understand silence but as far as we are concerned we talk the language of silence… I know people who know us wud laugh coz we both are extremely talkative.. Total chatter box.
But another side to us tht most of them don’t know…our silence… for us silence is a state when eyes speak more n heart starts listening and life seems to be more exciting when some1 start reading ur eyes silently. A person, who truly knows u, is some1 who sees pain in ur eyes, while everyone else still believes in the on ur face. It’s been two days tht we are together but lot of things hv been said with silence.
Though lonavala was not much fun coz it was really warm n no rains so we decided to get back today itself and are Nikki’s place. Mumbai’s weather is just perfect. We hv been sitting on the terrace getting wet in the rain…. The dialogue really fits in well “main aur meri tanhai aksar baat kiya karte hain”… hehe
For us, Silence has lot to it, it’s the only expression which has wht some people called emotions, feelings, actions, words rather most of the abstract nouns. I consider silence to be really strong coz only in its presence u get to discover urself, gives u answers to lotta question, is the best answer when u don’t want to answer questions. It depicts strong emotions like anger, love, hatred, jealously, fear, grief. It’s in silence tht ur head n heart are most active, give u ur space to reach out to urself.
Silence definitely speaks a thousand words and silence is more powerful then words who understand the silence!!!!
I just heard Nikki saying to this word silence – “Toofan aane se pehle aksar khamoshi aur shanti hoti hain” – we gals are too filmy naa
Jun 15, 2007
Awesome weather
Since morning the weather is just beautiful, awesome… alternative spans of cloudy weather and rains.. The smell of the wet mud from the garden.. bhini bhini, saundhi saundhi khusboo.. It’s just a peaceful feeling… just gives a feeling of content…
Which just reminds me to wht Parag said about the mud fragrance yest morning. Lemme quote him – “Aaaahhh... this fragrance of wet earth gives an orgasmic sensation!!!” hehe haha – The funny n naughty boy he is.
Awesome weather, listening to Bryan Adams, sitting beside the window with the rain drops sprinkling on my face with a cool breeze, trying to protect my dad’s work laptop from the rain.. Suddenly life is so complete, beautiful, peaceful and a feeling of content.
Which just reminds me to wht Parag said about the mud fragrance yest morning. Lemme quote him – “Aaaahhh... this fragrance of wet earth gives an orgasmic sensation!!!” hehe haha – The funny n naughty boy he is.
Awesome weather, listening to Bryan Adams, sitting beside the window with the rain drops sprinkling on my face with a cool breeze, trying to protect my dad’s work laptop from the rain.. Suddenly life is so complete, beautiful, peaceful and a feeling of content.
Jun 13, 2007
Wait till 12th July 2007 -
Finally after all the trouble I get a visa interview date on 12th July. When I was at the VFS n the lady told me the earliest date available is 12th July which I heard it as June so I go like no book the date for 15th June.
So she goes like, “No madam, its 12th July 9.00 am and the next dates available are 17th, 19th , 27th July and 4th August. So should I book for 12th July?”
I was like, “you kidding me, no date before tht?”
“No madam”
“Okies go ahead and book it”
I am still surprised n find it funny that Canadian High Comission is calling so many people for interviews. So if they hv such a high strength of people coming in that people have to wait for a month or more to get a date then they shud hv more than one centers operating. This is damn funny. I really guess the American Embassy works well and is quite faster because they operate at many centers.
Now tht the appointment is fixed, me n dad had been discussing how to get to Delhi, by train or by flight?? Dad was like while going we shud go by train n while coming back we can get back by flight. We both argued a lot on this matter because the tickets had to be booked.
Today morning – newspaper headlines – Indian airlines go an undecided strike. This local airline has been a matter of trouble for quite some time. So many flights get cancelled or are delayed. So with the possibility of such a thing happening on the day of the interview will be a big problem, coz u never know these Indian unions when they can go strike again. So I finally book train tickets.
After I book the tickets my mom goes, “next day ni return ticket kem book kari. Apde tya gaya hoi toh fari ne avte” - which means if we going all the way till Delhi then we should hv gone around traveling. My mom has been traveling n going places every month but yet she isn’t contended. But we will definitely have time to go for shopping there so wil be fun.
Life cant get funnier and stupid thn whts happening now. I planned to be in Toronto by last week of July but now even if I get a permit I wont be able to reach there before mid August. I hv my orientation on 27th August, so everything is going to be neck to neck.
And if I don’t get the permit then I am going to Goa and will celebrate my bday there. Get back and join Quintiles Pharmaceuticals by 25th July. All thngs will now slowly and steadily fall in place whtever will the outcome of the much awaited day – 12th JULY 2007.
So she goes like, “No madam, its 12th July 9.00 am and the next dates available are 17th, 19th , 27th July and 4th August. So should I book for 12th July?”
I was like, “you kidding me, no date before tht?”
“No madam”
“Okies go ahead and book it”
I am still surprised n find it funny that Canadian High Comission is calling so many people for interviews. So if they hv such a high strength of people coming in that people have to wait for a month or more to get a date then they shud hv more than one centers operating. This is damn funny. I really guess the American Embassy works well and is quite faster because they operate at many centers.
Now tht the appointment is fixed, me n dad had been discussing how to get to Delhi, by train or by flight?? Dad was like while going we shud go by train n while coming back we can get back by flight. We both argued a lot on this matter because the tickets had to be booked.
Today morning – newspaper headlines – Indian airlines go an undecided strike. This local airline has been a matter of trouble for quite some time. So many flights get cancelled or are delayed. So with the possibility of such a thing happening on the day of the interview will be a big problem, coz u never know these Indian unions when they can go strike again. So I finally book train tickets.
After I book the tickets my mom goes, “next day ni return ticket kem book kari. Apde tya gaya hoi toh fari ne avte” - which means if we going all the way till Delhi then we should hv gone around traveling. My mom has been traveling n going places every month but yet she isn’t contended. But we will definitely have time to go for shopping there so wil be fun.
Life cant get funnier and stupid thn whts happening now. I planned to be in Toronto by last week of July but now even if I get a permit I wont be able to reach there before mid August. I hv my orientation on 27th August, so everything is going to be neck to neck.
And if I don’t get the permit then I am going to Goa and will celebrate my bday there. Get back and join Quintiles Pharmaceuticals by 25th July. All thngs will now slowly and steadily fall in place whtever will the outcome of the much awaited day – 12th JULY 2007.
Jun 12, 2007
The School of Life – Learning
This life of the ego in his own world, which is so glorious and so fully satisfying for the developed man, plays but a very small part in the life of the ordinary person, for in his stage of development to be awake in his casual body. In obedience to the law of Nature he has lost the sensation of vivid life, and his restless desire to feel this once more pushes him in the direction of another descent into the matter.
This is the scheme of evolution appointed for man at the present stage – that he shall develop by descending into grosser matter, and ascend to carry back into himself the result of the experiences so obtained. His real life, therefore, covers millions of years, and what we are in the habit of calling life is only one day of this greater existence. Indeed, it is in reality only a small part of one day; for a life of seventy years in the physical world is often succeeded by a period of 20 times that length spent in higher spheres.
Every one of us has a long line of these physical lives behind him, and the ordinary man has a fairly long line still in front of him. Each if such lives are a day at school. The ego puts upon himself his garment of flesh and goes forth into the school of the physical world to learn certain lessons. He learns them, or does not learn them, or partially learns them, as the case may be, during his school day of earth-life; then he lays aside the vesture of the flesh and returns home to his own level for rest and refreshment. In the morning of each new life he takes up again his lesson at the point he left it the night before. Some lessons he may be able to learn in one day, while others may take him many days.
If he is an apt pupil and learn quickly what is needed, if he obtains an intelligent grasp of the rules of the school, and takes the trouble to adapt his conduct to them, his school-life is comparatively short, and when it is over he goes forth fully equipped into the real life of the higher worlds for which all this is only a preparation. Other egos are duller boys who do not learn so quickly; some of them do not understand the rules of the school and through that ignorance are constantly breaking them; others are way ward, and even when they see the rules they cannot at once bring themselves to act in harmony with them. All of these have a longer school-life, and by their own actions they delay their entry upon the real life of the higher worlds.
For this is a school in which no pupil ever fails; everyone must go on to the end. The wise pupil, seeing that school-life is not a thing in itself, but only a preparation for a more glorious and far wider life, endeavors to comprehend as fully as possible the rules of his school, and shapes his life in accordance with them as closely as he can, so that no time may be lost in the learning of whatever lessons are necessary.
A Textbook of Theosophy by CW Leadbeater
This is the scheme of evolution appointed for man at the present stage – that he shall develop by descending into grosser matter, and ascend to carry back into himself the result of the experiences so obtained. His real life, therefore, covers millions of years, and what we are in the habit of calling life is only one day of this greater existence. Indeed, it is in reality only a small part of one day; for a life of seventy years in the physical world is often succeeded by a period of 20 times that length spent in higher spheres.
Every one of us has a long line of these physical lives behind him, and the ordinary man has a fairly long line still in front of him. Each if such lives are a day at school. The ego puts upon himself his garment of flesh and goes forth into the school of the physical world to learn certain lessons. He learns them, or does not learn them, or partially learns them, as the case may be, during his school day of earth-life; then he lays aside the vesture of the flesh and returns home to his own level for rest and refreshment. In the morning of each new life he takes up again his lesson at the point he left it the night before. Some lessons he may be able to learn in one day, while others may take him many days.
If he is an apt pupil and learn quickly what is needed, if he obtains an intelligent grasp of the rules of the school, and takes the trouble to adapt his conduct to them, his school-life is comparatively short, and when it is over he goes forth fully equipped into the real life of the higher worlds for which all this is only a preparation. Other egos are duller boys who do not learn so quickly; some of them do not understand the rules of the school and through that ignorance are constantly breaking them; others are way ward, and even when they see the rules they cannot at once bring themselves to act in harmony with them. All of these have a longer school-life, and by their own actions they delay their entry upon the real life of the higher worlds.
For this is a school in which no pupil ever fails; everyone must go on to the end. The wise pupil, seeing that school-life is not a thing in itself, but only a preparation for a more glorious and far wider life, endeavors to comprehend as fully as possible the rules of his school, and shapes his life in accordance with them as closely as he can, so that no time may be lost in the learning of whatever lessons are necessary.
A Textbook of Theosophy by CW Leadbeater
Jun 9, 2007
Visa Visa Visa
I guess its been really long tht I hv been wasting time behind getting a study permit for canada… I had lot of trouble here getting all the required documents in place on time. When every thing was ready they tell me I can put in an application only in the 90 day period from the start date of course… finally new set of documents n papers were made.
Felt so nice tht finally the application reached the Canadian High Commission. My visa counselor saw no problem in getting a study permit.
Today afternoon, a letter came from the Canadian High Commission stating to further process ur application an interview is required. Damn damn damn, wht the hell are you going to ask me, none of the students are called for an interview then y me..
Now the scene is that I have to get an appointment which I will get for next week so I will spend one more week wondering whts gonna happen. And to add more I will hv to go delhi, not tht I mind but then I will hv to go wid mom coz she going there for some function at 2 big temples, no clue where in delhi. So now I will hv to go with her in the train where I could hv reached delhi in like 2 hrs time by flight n got back home the same evening. Not only that I will hv to stay in those 5 star temples, attend programs but be sweet doll, which I am in no mood for it. So I am going to die in tension biting off my nails n mom is going to hv a vacation. God plz think bout me.
Not that I am going mad to get out of this place but I need to get moving, I am on a halt/wait mode doing nothing in life. Have just been sitting at home doing nothing productive and its hurting me like hell. This is because rght from the day I hv passed my high school I hv been working in all my vacations and I like to keep myself busy. To add more to the fire, I did not take up 3 nice job opportunities, so now if I don’t land up getting a study permit I am sure I will be shattered. And to start from sctrach, god it already hurting me. I hope this trip turns out positive and I get moving.. inshaal allah.. hoping for the best..
Felt so nice tht finally the application reached the Canadian High Commission. My visa counselor saw no problem in getting a study permit.
Today afternoon, a letter came from the Canadian High Commission stating to further process ur application an interview is required. Damn damn damn, wht the hell are you going to ask me, none of the students are called for an interview then y me..
Now the scene is that I have to get an appointment which I will get for next week so I will spend one more week wondering whts gonna happen. And to add more I will hv to go delhi, not tht I mind but then I will hv to go wid mom coz she going there for some function at 2 big temples, no clue where in delhi. So now I will hv to go with her in the train where I could hv reached delhi in like 2 hrs time by flight n got back home the same evening. Not only that I will hv to stay in those 5 star temples, attend programs but be sweet doll, which I am in no mood for it. So I am going to die in tension biting off my nails n mom is going to hv a vacation. God plz think bout me.
Not that I am going mad to get out of this place but I need to get moving, I am on a halt/wait mode doing nothing in life. Have just been sitting at home doing nothing productive and its hurting me like hell. This is because rght from the day I hv passed my high school I hv been working in all my vacations and I like to keep myself busy. To add more to the fire, I did not take up 3 nice job opportunities, so now if I don’t land up getting a study permit I am sure I will be shattered. And to start from sctrach, god it already hurting me. I hope this trip turns out positive and I get moving.. inshaal allah.. hoping for the best..
Jun 7, 2007
The Business of Prayer
Since yest tht I have put in my visa application, all around me started don’t get tensed n pray to god and ask him to give you the study permit.. so just this my view point so hope everyone who reads it gets the message across..
A famous Sufi story is that a ship is coming back to its home country. It is full of businessmen coming home. Suddenly the ocean goes mad, and the ship is on the verge of sinking. Everybody starts praying. But there was a Sufi who was simply sitting there, not praying.
People became angry; they said, “You are a religious man, wearing the green robe of a Sufi. What kind of a Sufi are you? You should have been the first one to pray. And we are not religious people; we are just businessmen but we are offering God, ‘we will give you this, we will give you that. Just save us.’ why are you not praying?”
He said, “You have already said it: because I am not a businessman. If he wants to finish us all, good. If he wants to save us, good. It is his business. I am in total agreement with him. Why should I pray? Prayer means some disagreement; something is happening which you don’t want to happen. You want God to interfere, to stop it.”
On board was the most wealthy, most famous man of the country and he was coming with millions of diamonds and precious stones. He had a beautiful palace in the town - a most beautiful marble palace. When the ship was almost sunk, the man shouted to God, “Listen, I give that palace to you, just save me!” and as it happened, the winds disappeared, the ocean became calm and the ship was saved. They reached the bank.
Now the rich man was in great difficulty because of what he had said. He said to the Sufi, “Perhaps you were right just to keep quite. If I had followed you, I would not have lost my palace. But I am a businessman and I will find a way.” And he found a way.
The next day he put up his palace for auction. He informed all the nearby kingdoms, whoever interested. Many kings and rich people came; everybody was interested. They were all puzzled to see that just in front of the palace, there was a cat chained to a marble pillar. The rich man came out and said, “This palace and the cat, both are up for auction together. The price of the cat is one million dollars and the price of the palace, one dollar.”
The king of the country said, “Yes, I will give you the price, but please tell me , what is the secret of this cat and the palace?’
And he said, “No secret – I just got into trouble because of a prayer. I have told god that ‘I will give you the palace.’ The cat, one million dollars – I will keep. And the palace: one dollar – that will go to the God’s fund.”
Prayer is just the effort to persuade God to do things according to you. And it is absolutely your imagination. In the first place, you don’t know God. You don’t know his likes and dislikes. This is a poor state of affairs, and this is happening all over the world. But as for me I have known n realized tht I believe in god and I hv got all tht I deserved sometimes n something more thn I deserved… so I just like god n life the way it is !
A famous Sufi story is that a ship is coming back to its home country. It is full of businessmen coming home. Suddenly the ocean goes mad, and the ship is on the verge of sinking. Everybody starts praying. But there was a Sufi who was simply sitting there, not praying.
People became angry; they said, “You are a religious man, wearing the green robe of a Sufi. What kind of a Sufi are you? You should have been the first one to pray. And we are not religious people; we are just businessmen but we are offering God, ‘we will give you this, we will give you that. Just save us.’ why are you not praying?”
He said, “You have already said it: because I am not a businessman. If he wants to finish us all, good. If he wants to save us, good. It is his business. I am in total agreement with him. Why should I pray? Prayer means some disagreement; something is happening which you don’t want to happen. You want God to interfere, to stop it.”
On board was the most wealthy, most famous man of the country and he was coming with millions of diamonds and precious stones. He had a beautiful palace in the town - a most beautiful marble palace. When the ship was almost sunk, the man shouted to God, “Listen, I give that palace to you, just save me!” and as it happened, the winds disappeared, the ocean became calm and the ship was saved. They reached the bank.
Now the rich man was in great difficulty because of what he had said. He said to the Sufi, “Perhaps you were right just to keep quite. If I had followed you, I would not have lost my palace. But I am a businessman and I will find a way.” And he found a way.
The next day he put up his palace for auction. He informed all the nearby kingdoms, whoever interested. Many kings and rich people came; everybody was interested. They were all puzzled to see that just in front of the palace, there was a cat chained to a marble pillar. The rich man came out and said, “This palace and the cat, both are up for auction together. The price of the cat is one million dollars and the price of the palace, one dollar.”
The king of the country said, “Yes, I will give you the price, but please tell me , what is the secret of this cat and the palace?’
And he said, “No secret – I just got into trouble because of a prayer. I have told god that ‘I will give you the palace.’ The cat, one million dollars – I will keep. And the palace: one dollar – that will go to the God’s fund.”
Prayer is just the effort to persuade God to do things according to you. And it is absolutely your imagination. In the first place, you don’t know God. You don’t know his likes and dislikes. This is a poor state of affairs, and this is happening all over the world. But as for me I have known n realized tht I believe in god and I hv got all tht I deserved sometimes n something more thn I deserved… so I just like god n life the way it is !
Jun 5, 2007
Injury Basket
Yea exactly, I think I am carrying an injury basket along with me. Let’s have a count of it.
October – that’s the month when it started when we were coming back from Shirdi and our car met with an accident and I had 12 stiches
December – I suddenly from nowhere fell sick. My hemoglobin levels drops to 7 (normal range is from 11 -15)yet there were no symptoms. i realized about it when i went for medicals for a new LIC policy. Secondly I was under weight according to the doc so went thru a lipid profile and was asked to work out n get rid of commonly called baby fat and put on lean body weight i.e. protein n calcium weight. (I still laugh and remember tht I laughed so loud when doc said I was under weight, I am sure people who have seen me will laugh too) I am still on a diet plan n medicines. Not only that I suffered serious bad cold of my life during this period. Ask people who used to call me to check, rather remind me to take my medicines. Though was a nice experience, wonderd so many people cared for me and I am loved by so many people.. hehe haha
April – again I got struck by an accident. Suddenly a biker zoomed in near Eros cinema, god blessed my reflexes and I pulled myself back. My back hit the pole near it making a inch deep cut on my back with a rot iron flag tht was hanging on the pole. Fortunately a frnd saw me n rushed me to the doc. Now the worst thing was there are no clinics or hospital close to churchgate station so he had to take me to JJ hospital which was closest. My parents being out of town during tht time I had to suffer. Again a week later I was hospitalized coz my back was swollen due to the pressure on my stiches while I slept. God cant forget tht day, my tee was completely blotted with blood
Yesterday – I got up in the morning and found that I couldn’t move my head and had severe pain in my back. I had sprained my neck and back , don’t how and from where. Thanks to Dr. Nikhil and my good friend. Mom called him up and the physiotherapist was at my service. Wow its was awesome when he massaged my neck. Sometimes I think I have got some good docs at easy reach thru the time I have spent at KEM hospital. Thanks a ton nikhil.. I definitely make pani puri and pasta for you, now I will have to treat you, I cant escape.
Today – I was n this rickshaw and don’t know what and how it happened tht my rickshaw took a turn in a gulli and there came in 2 rickshaw at speed and I guess mine wud have crashed with those two. And I hear sudden breaks of all the three, gosh I was just saved.
Now looking back at all this, I really think that either I am carrying an injury basket or every time god thinks of inviting me to meet him and then suddenly calls of his plans.. therez definitely something good, blessing or love or whatever u call… coz I hv felt tht I almost was close to death and yet I survived.. a very different feeling which I cant express in words.
October – that’s the month when it started when we were coming back from Shirdi and our car met with an accident and I had 12 stiches
December – I suddenly from nowhere fell sick. My hemoglobin levels drops to 7 (normal range is from 11 -15)yet there were no symptoms. i realized about it when i went for medicals for a new LIC policy. Secondly I was under weight according to the doc so went thru a lipid profile and was asked to work out n get rid of commonly called baby fat and put on lean body weight i.e. protein n calcium weight. (I still laugh and remember tht I laughed so loud when doc said I was under weight, I am sure people who have seen me will laugh too) I am still on a diet plan n medicines. Not only that I suffered serious bad cold of my life during this period. Ask people who used to call me to check, rather remind me to take my medicines. Though was a nice experience, wonderd so many people cared for me and I am loved by so many people.. hehe haha
April – again I got struck by an accident. Suddenly a biker zoomed in near Eros cinema, god blessed my reflexes and I pulled myself back. My back hit the pole near it making a inch deep cut on my back with a rot iron flag tht was hanging on the pole. Fortunately a frnd saw me n rushed me to the doc. Now the worst thing was there are no clinics or hospital close to churchgate station so he had to take me to JJ hospital which was closest. My parents being out of town during tht time I had to suffer. Again a week later I was hospitalized coz my back was swollen due to the pressure on my stiches while I slept. God cant forget tht day, my tee was completely blotted with blood
Yesterday – I got up in the morning and found that I couldn’t move my head and had severe pain in my back. I had sprained my neck and back , don’t how and from where. Thanks to Dr. Nikhil and my good friend. Mom called him up and the physiotherapist was at my service. Wow its was awesome when he massaged my neck. Sometimes I think I have got some good docs at easy reach thru the time I have spent at KEM hospital. Thanks a ton nikhil.. I definitely make pani puri and pasta for you, now I will have to treat you, I cant escape.
Today – I was n this rickshaw and don’t know what and how it happened tht my rickshaw took a turn in a gulli and there came in 2 rickshaw at speed and I guess mine wud have crashed with those two. And I hear sudden breaks of all the three, gosh I was just saved.
Now looking back at all this, I really think that either I am carrying an injury basket or every time god thinks of inviting me to meet him and then suddenly calls of his plans.. therez definitely something good, blessing or love or whatever u call… coz I hv felt tht I almost was close to death and yet I survived.. a very different feeling which I cant express in words.
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